We all know that eating a healthy diet, exercising, and managing stress is important for our own bodies and minds. But did you know that many of the habits that improve individual health can boost the health of your relationship as well? Add these 10 activities to your to-do list, and you and your significant other will reap the benefits together.
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We constantly meet new people, in a myriad of places. Which of these people become our romantic partners, and what difference does it make where we met? In the course of an average day, it’s safe to guess that most of us meet someone we’ve never met before. Whether it’s bumping into a fellow shopper at the grocery store or introducing yourself through a mutual friend, we constantly interact with strangers. We will never see most of these people again, but some of those strangers will become our friends or even our romantic partners. The search for a partner, on the other hand, is a quest that many people embark on deliberately. Online dating sites capitalize on the fact that you can’t rely on random encounters with strangers to produce a potential partner. If you’re lucky, systematic searching in the virtual world can produce a real-life romantic counterpart who is also looking to find someone just like you. Which approach to finding a relationship leads to your desired outcome? There’s surprisingly little data on the subject, perhaps because researchers are only now able to track matches that began online with long-term outcomes. The old theories contrasted similarity with the "opposites attract" theory about what best produces relationship stability. Both considered proximity a plus: People who live near each other often share other important connections due to the factors that lead to neighborhood formation and stability. In other words, someone from down the street is likely to share your social status, family income, and perhaps your race or ethnicity. These factors can bring people together on purely sociological grounds, but sometimes also lead people to share similar psychological qualities.
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Stress is the body’s response to physical or emotional demands. Emotional stress can play a role in causing depression or be a symptom of it. Experiencing a stressful situation can trigger a depressive episode, and being depressed can make it more difficult to deal with stress. High stress levels from events such as losing a job or the end of a relationship can lead to depression. However, not everyone who is dealing with these situations becomes depressed. There are possible biological factors behind why one person facing a stressful circumstance ends up depressed while another doesn’t.
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It seems that we all want a few extra hours a week to get through everything we want to. When was the last time you found yourself saying that you’ll do something when you find time for it? Everyone agrees that time is something we all want more of; more time to get through all our work, more time to be with friends and family, and more time to relax. However, how often do you find yourself rushing around like a headless chicken desperately trying to get everything done. or feeling frustrated and bordering on rage because you just simply don’t have the time you want? Feeling stressed and overwhelmed constantly is not fun at all, so why is change so hard? We live in a world where we want instant solutions and gratification, but for a price, of course, and the least amount of effort on our part. When we need something to be fixed or changed, it’s easy to go and buy a solution, but what about those problems that aren’t so tangible, like time? Of course, those who master their time have developed skills and learnt techniques, but they all share something else which is the root of their success—a mindset that enables them to manage their time effortlessly. Improving the way you manage your time really starts with the way you view time, your perspective. Getting Organized Everyone has the same 24 hours in their day, yet it’s obvious that many people achieve more in a few months than most people do in years. Why is that? I have heard so many different excuses, and among my favorite are definitely “I was born this way, I’ve always been disorganized“—really? I didn’t know there was a gene for disorganization. Another is, “it will make me less creative and restrict my freedom“—on the contrary, being organized actually frees your mind up to be more creative! Let me ask you a question, do you believe that managing your time is in your control? In other words, do you believe it is possible? If you don’t, I’m glad you are reading this because your mindset is definitely influencing your results. If you think that you don’t have time to do anything, you will most probably find that you don’t. If you think that you are unable to take control of the reins and manage your time, that is what your experience will be. Your external world reflects your internal world, your thinking. If you are disorganized on the outside, you most likely feel disorganized on the inside, which is why you need to start with mastering your mindset. We cannot buy or create more time, but we can make more time by creating a time management mindset. Tips to Get You Started: The blame game: Stop blaming others for your results; you are responsible for how you spend your time and what you achieve with it—it’s that simple. It’s easy to blame others for not being able to accomplish what you needed to, but you have to take responsibility. Self sabotage: Stop telling yourself that you won’t get things finished on time, or you won’t be able to find time to do something. Those who manage their time successfully never set themselves up negatively, because that is what you are doing by affirming before you have even started that it will turn out badly and not work out. Remember that what you expect, you get! Catch yourself from limiting phrases like this, and be more positive. You will feel more empowered and in control by affirming to yourself that it will work out well, and your actions will be directed accordingly. Think: This might seem like a strange tip, but I’m not referring to your daily thoughts—I am referring to the way you think habitually. What normally happens when you have to plan your day ahead of time, or rearrange your schedule? Develop the habit of always looking for opportunities to leverage your time, prioritizing your actions in your mind, and knowing the best way to focus your actions. The way you plan your days and perform your tasks are directly related to your thinking, so if you are not seeing the results you want, change the way you think in that area. You can learn all the techniques and tools in the book, but if you don’t believe that it will help or your negative thoughts keep you struggling with time, you won’t ever really master your time—until you master your mindset.
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Self-confidence is extremely important in almost every aspect of our lives, yet so many people struggle to find it. Sadly, this can be a vicious circle: people who lack self-confidence can find it difficult to become successful. After all, most people are reluctant to back a project that's being pitched by someone who was nervous, fumbling, and overly apologetic. On the other hand, you might be persuaded by someone who speaks clearly, who holds his or her head high, who answers questions assuredly, and who readily admits when he or she does not know something. Confident people inspire confidence in others: their audience, their peers, their bosses, their customers, and their friends. And gaining the confidence of others is one of the key ways in which a self-confident person finds success. The good news is that self-confidence really can be learned and built on. And, whether you’re working on your own confidence or building the confidence of people around you, it’s well-worth the effort!
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At one point or another, we all question whether or not we are doing enough, making enough money, or if we are going to be “successful” enough. I know this firsthand, as I’ve spent long periods of my young adult life in a persistent state of fear and self-doubt. When I graduated from college, I worked sixty, seventy, even eighty hours a week in a corporate setting climbing the proverbial ladder. In my mind, I thought that was success, even though it wasn’t what I truly wanted for myself. I held onto dead-end jobs, toxic relationships, and draining friendships because I thought that if I left them, I’d be a quitter. I doubted myself to the point that I was making my decisions based on what others wanted of me, not what I wanted for myself. I was constantly struggling with confidence and always second-guessing myself. What I’ve learned from my experiences is that if I don’t nip the self-limiting thoughts in the bud right away, this “woe is me” mindset can become debilitating.
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Make sure to set goals. Short-term (daily) and long-term (weekly, monthly and yearly). Don’t be afraid to take risks. You will never be 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Surround yourself with positive people. (Here is how to do that). Make a plan or a blueprint for success. Imagine in your mind the steps you need to take to achieve your goal. Don’t overthink things. Stay focused on what is really important and let go of everything else. Work with the flow of things. Know your distractions. Make a list of things that keep you from staying focused and make sure to get rid of them when you are working on your goal. Understand that your time is limited. Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today. And visualize (a successful) tomorrow before going to sleep. Do things that scare you. Step out of your comfort zone from time to time. Get rid of limiting beliefs and false ideologies. Stay open-minded.workshop-banner Develop self-confidence. Or at least learn to act as if you are confident. Be more sociable. This isn’t easy for many people, but it is still important to take small steps to develop social skills. Accept your mistakes and learn from them. And never let past failures stop you. Be persistent. Keep going no matter what and develop a relentless motor. Be flexible. Understand the importance of taking care of yourself. Pay close attention to your physical health. Eat good food, drink and smoke less, and exercise. Always keep learning and growing. Don’t just be book smart, be stress smart as well. Make sure you know why you are trying to be successful. Do it for the right reasons and never forget what these reasons are. They will keep you motivated. Believe in yourself. You can do it
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Do you want to learn how to think like a billionaire? What mindset do the successful entrepreneurs and drop out billionaires possess that others don’t? Do you know that the thinking capacity of millionaires differ from that of billionaires? What is the thinking pattern of billionaires such as Mark Zuckerberg, Richard Branson, Donald Trump, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Larry Ellison, Oprah Winfrey, Aliko Dangote, Warren Buffett and others? Do you want to develop the billionaire mindset? If your answer to the last question is yes, then please read on because this article is for you. “When we direct our thoughts properly, we can control our emotions.” – W. Clement Stone In this article, I will be explaining in detail how you can develop your mindset, control your thoughts and ultimately think like a billionaire. Now why should you think like a billionaire? I believe you are entitled to your thinking pattern but it is also worthwhile you know that your pattern of thinking will definitely affect your level of achievement in life. “All personal achievements start in your mind. The first step is to know exactly what your problem, goal or desire is.” – W. Clement Stone Why you need to think like a billionaire Have you observed that your state of mind or your perception is directly proportional to your status in life? What I am trying to say in essence is that if you think like a millionaire, you will become a millionaire and if you decide to increase your thinking capacity to the billionaire level; you will ultimately become a billionaire. That’s why Donald Trump wrote a book titled “How to think like a billionaire” because he knows the importance of the human thinking pattern to the process of achieving anything in life and that’s why the bible states that “As a man thinketh in his heart, so he is.” – The Holy Bible he mindset of a millionaire will never put you in the position of a billionaire; period. That’s the reason why I am emphasizing you develop your mindset. I have seen entrepreneurs turn down a $100,000 startup capital simply because all they need is a seed capital of $30,000. Their rejection of the $100,000 capital has nothing to do with financial prudence; it’s all about the mindset. They’ve not trained their mindset to go beyond their financial capacity and that’s why they will remain average. I have also seen accidental millionaires who got lucky and won the lottery to the tune of millions. After several years, they are back to square one; living from hand to mouth. I have also seen people come into an inheritance of millions only to lose it all. Are these set of individuals doomed to be failures? My answer is a resounding no. The only problem they’ve got is their state of mind; they lack the right mindset to handle their change in financial position. That’s why I wrote this article for you; I wrote this article to challenge you to develop your mindset by going beyond your present thinking pattern to a higher level. So if you are ready to develop your mindset and think like a billionaire, if you are prepared to go beyond your present thinking capacity; then please read on as I share with you five strategic steps to developing your mindset.
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How can positive thinking help? It’s a question I get asked especially from those who are going through a traumatic situation, have experienced a setback or are in an unhappy situation. Positive thinking is not a quick fix for a negative situation. Instead, it’s a long term solution and this is now backed by science as more and more researchers look at the impact of positive thinking and positive beliefs. Here’s how positive thinking can help you By regularly having positive thoughts you change the way your mind works and you actually re-shape the brain, allowing it to want to experience more positive outcomes and more happiness. At the same time you become more optimistic and by being more optimistic you’re more open minded and able to see new opportunities to help you succeed, accomplish a goal and overcome a setback. Sure you will have some negative thoughts no matter how positive you try to be. However, as you fill your mind with positive thoughts those negative thoughts have less of an impact. When those negative thoughts of doom and gloom weaken you’re less likely to stay depressed and more likely to bounce back from a setback much sooner. This means you’ll be able to bounce back from a setback, recover from that traumatic event, and begin to experience more joy and more happiness.
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If you have a desire to change the way you think and behave it is completely, 100% possible. The brain is constantly forming new connections and molding itself into how you're telling it to operate. By practicing self-awareness and staying mindful, as then you can rein in those negative thoughts and destructive habits and start right now being a better, more positive you. Begin to monitor your thoughts on a daily basis. The beauty of human evolution is that we've developed two selves: the primal one that does and the evolved one that monitors. You are able to observe yourself and your thoughts 24/7. With every thought that raises a red flag, stop for a second and think about it. Was it negative? Destructive? What triggered it? Does it seem logical? Addictive? You will notice a pattern to your thoughts as you begin practicing self-awareness. Define your thought patterns. After a week or so, take a hard look at that pattern. Maybe most of your thoughts are negative, you are critical of yourself or others, or you experience unnecessary thoughts that aren't important or beneficial to you. For each person it will be different. Once you identify this pattern, you can go about stopping it. Create a space between your thoughts and actions. This cycle is a cycle, sure, but it can be slowed down. When you start feeling that pattern creep up, stop and breathe. Try not to be reactive. How would you prefer to react? What positive thought can you put in your head instead? For example, let's say you're watching TV and you see an ad with a beautiful woman. You think to yourself, "I could never be her," or "I could never get her." Stop for a second, and finish that thought better. Think, "But I have good qualities x, y, and z," or "I'm going to use this as motivation to start working out and feel better about myself, because I've decided to seek out happiness, not negativity." Realize that for all your actions and thoughts you are getting some reward. Worrying constantly? You probably feel like you're covering your bases or not getting your hopes up. Deflating your sense of self? It probably feels safe being down in the dumps, so your hopes can't crash down around you. Think about what you're getting out of your thoughts? Is what your getting really worth it? Be mindful of the words you use in your mind and what you say to others. Your words can hurt people – including yourself – and this can only have a negative impact upon yourself and your resulting behaviors and thoughts. If they seem to crop up, tell yourself to stop. Just stop. Divert your attention to something more positive that keeps you on track. Choose your reactive behaviors. As a child you are told to think, behave and to adopt certain belief systems which often shape the type of person you become. Some fears and insecurities you developed can also be carried through into your adulthood. Often, we get stuck into action-reaction patterns, not realizing we could interpret the situation and react any number of ways. When you have a negative reaction, this is an opportunity to assess it. If something infuriates you, why? Would other people you know react the same way? How would they react differently? How would they react better? Develop new thoughts to create these new, positive habits. You've identified your bad thoughts, you've stopped them, and you've replaced them with good ones. Now you just have to be persistent and repeat these new thoughts as often as possible. It will become habit, just like your old thoughts became habit. As long as you stay mindful and thinking it's possible, it will happen. That's what brains do.
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1. “The trick is to enjoy life. Don’t wish away your days, waiting for better ones ahead.” – Marjorie Pay Hinckley 2.”Nobody can make you to feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt 3. “The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually fear that you will make one.” – Elbert Hubbard 4. “Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.” – Wayne Dyer 5. “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” – Wayne Gretzky 6. “Just think how happy you would be if you lost everything you have right now, and then got it back again.” – Frances Rodman 7. “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” – Dr. Seuss 8. “You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” – Eleanor Roosevelt 9. “A problem is a chance for you to do your best.”– Duke Ellington 10.“I didn’t fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.” – Benjamin Franklin 11.“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning how to dance in the rain.” – Vivian Greene 12. “Always remember you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think and twice as beautiful as you’ve ever imagined.” – Dr. Seuss 13. “Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.” – Marcus Aurelius 14. “Don’t cry for a man who’s left you; the next one may fall for your smile.” – Mae West 15. “You don’t have to control your thoughts; you just have to stop letting them control you.” – Dan Millman 16. “Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.”- Mary Anne Radmacher 17. “Life isn’t about getting and having, it’s about giving and being.” – Kevin Kruse 18. “Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” – Joshua J. Marine 19. “I have found that if you love life, life will love you back.” – Arthur Rubinstein 20. “There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” – Albert Einstein 21. “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” – George Bernard Shaw 22. “Taking care of yourself makes you stronger for everyone in your life… including you.” – Kelly Rudolph 23. “Don’t wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get, you’ve got to make yourself.” – Alice Walker 24. “If only we’d stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time.”- Edith Wharton 25. “We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.” – Frederick Keonig 26. “If you’re presenting yourself with confidence, you can pull off pretty much anything.” – Katy Perry 27. “For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”- Ralph Waldo Emerson 28. “Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears.”- John Lennon 29. “People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” – Abraham Lincoln 30. “I’ve got nothing to do today but smile.” – Paul Simon 31. “Once you choose hope, anything’s possible.” – Christopher Reeve 32. “Learn to value yourself, which means: fight for your happiness.” – Ayn Rand 33. “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” – Buddha 34. “After every storm the sun will smile; for every problem there is a solution, and the soul’s indefeasible duty is to be of good cheer.” – William R. Alger 35. “Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.” – J.K. Rowling 36. “The best way to predict the future is to create it.” – Abraham Lincoln 37. “Believe in yourself and you can be anything.” –Katy Perry 38. “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” – Dr. Seuss 39. “When you have exhausted all possibilities, remember this: you haven’t.” – Thomas Edison 40. “Why worry? If you’ve done the very best you can, worrying won’t make it any better.” – Walt Disney
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At one point or another, we all question whether or not we are doing enough, making enough money, or if we are going to be “successful” enough. I know this firsthand, as I’ve spent long periods of my young adult life in a persistent state of fear and self-doubt. When I graduated from college, I worked sixty, seventy, even eighty hours a week in a corporate setting climbing the proverbial ladder. In my mind, I thought that was success, even though it wasn’t what I truly wanted for myself. I held onto dead-end jobs, toxic relationships, and draining friendships because I thought that if I left them, I’d be a quitter. I doubted myself to the point that I was making my decisions based on what others wanted of me, not what I wanted for myself. I was constantly struggling with confidence and always second-guessing myself. What I’ve learned from my experiences is that if I don’t nip the self-limiting thoughts in the bud right away, this “woe is me” mindset can become debilitating. I’ve discovered a few things that help with self-doubt and boost my confidence that may help you too:
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Everyone has to sift through influences and affectations before settling into their enduring 'identity, but is there really a single 'Crisis' involved or is it a gradual process of discovery and self-acceptance? Focus on What You Want to Feel If we focus on negative things, we will produce negative experiences. The same goes for the positive feelings. Robbins explains this over and over in his lessons of personal achievement. He says what you focus on is what you feel, and what you feel is your experience of life. Keep the focus constantly on positive aspects, and rid yourself of any negativity. It will help your experience be one of happiness and success. Know That Your Past Doesn't Equal Your Future This is vital for success: The past does not equal the future. Every day is a baseline, and even if you suffered some failures a month ago, yesterday, or a minute ago, it's irrelevant. Look ahead and focus on what you need to do for that moment. This is especially true in business. There will always be days (sometimes months) of negative results in business, something I have experienced across all of my companies. Don't get caught up in the negativity. Make analytical decisions to fix things and look forward. Understand That Where Focus Goes, Energy Flows For ultimate success, we must have a sharp focus on what we really want and a clear vision of where we ultimately want to go. Once this focus is set, our energy will flow there. This energy is the main source of inspiration and will provide the momentum needed to get things done smoothly and successfully. I've learned to act on inspiration: With the sharp focus and energy that follows during these moments, you can get two weeks' worth of work done in two days. Embrace Passion and Excitement Originating from Robbins' Awaken the Giant Within : How to Take Immediate Control of Your Mental, Emotional, Physical and Financial Destiny!, this advice has been an underlying formula to my success since launching my first company in 1999. We must embrace passion and excitement, and we can enhance this through our physiology. Move your body, speak, and visualize images more rapidly. If you're not active, it'll put a damper on your excitement and subsequent workflow. I practice this daily, and it helps spread the passion around the office too. Build Strong Vitality Robbins says vitality is a must for success. The ultimate way towards daily vitality? As with embracing passion and excitement, to build strong vitality, we should also rely on movement. Robbins tells us that the human nervous system needs to move to have energy. I recently bought a stand-up desk that I work at, and I use a trampoline when I need a boost of energy. This gets the energy pumping, which increases my focus and helps me get the task completed quicker and more smoothly. Maximize Your Resources The truly successful don't have more time than anyone else; they just know how to maximize resources. Some people may consider this time management, but it's much more. By maximizing resources, you're maximizing not only your time but also your physical energy and health, which helps increase your overall enjoyment of life. I learned to maximize resources early in my career by using Robbins' Rapid Planning Method, which asks a sequence of questions on a consistent basis. The questions are: "What do I really want?" "What's my purpose?" and "What's my massive action plan?"
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I like my comfort zone and I hate it. It’s safe, but if I stay there too long it starts to feel like a cage. No wild creature is happy in a cage, and we’re all wild creatures at heart. Sure, we like the reliability of being well fed, clothed, safe, and loved. It’s my theory though (formed just this second) that we are meant to hunt, to seek, to struggle, to engage with a world that offers no guarantees. Like a caged animal, we become depressed when we play it too safe. “Safe” offers no challenge, no growth, and no newness. Without those things we wither and die inside; we watch too much TV, we eat junk food, we numb out. Could it be that the prevalence of depression in First World countries is because our lives don’t challenge us as much as we need them to? We all need exercise to be healthy. Muscles need to break to become strong. Do our hearts and minds also need challenge to thrive? About eighteen months ago I got sick. It was a weird benign tumor that caused a lot of pain, enough pain that I took myself to hospital at three one morning. Eventually, the tumor healed and the pain stopped. It didn’t go away; it just stopped hurting me. In the meantime, though, I became very careful, controlled, and I dropped out of my life. I felt afraid and limited. I lost faith in myself. My world got very small and I became too dependent on those close to me. I was not much fun. I lost friendships. Now I am rebuilding. It’s not always easy, but I’m on the way back. I can now see that my comfort zone isn’t comfortable. My fears and limitations have drawn the boundaries of my life, and that’s a small cage to live in. That’s not how I want to live. I remember more lively times and I want that power and flow back. I want to break through the darkness into the bright light, where life is colorful again. I want my life back. If you also need to expand your comfort zone, you may benefit from applying these lessons that are helping me: 1. Get honest. 2. Change is possible. 3. Change is uncomfortable, and that’s okay. 4. Change happens step by step. 5. Explore possibility. 6. Take one tiny risk a day. 7. Every action is an experiment. 8. Courage is more important than success. 9. Risk develops resilience.
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Life is here for us to experience, to learn, to grow. Sometimes we learn the hard way, sometimes we learn with joy and happiness. Our perspectives very much affect the way we choose to see our life experience. These could be misfortunes, pain, discomfort, and/or joy, happiness and pleasure. Believe it or not, many people unconsciously choose to learn the hard way. Never really believing in themselves and putting it down to “just bad luck”, “it always happens to me”, “I’ve come to expect it now”, “my life is rubbish.” But there is very good reason for this; beliefs, values, habits, addictions are all learned behaviors. If you’ve had a challenging life there may very well be a continuous belief that you are worth nothing more than this. But you are wrong! Everyone deserves to be happy.
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Whether you’ve lost yourself in your job, relationship, your role as a parent or simply feel lost in life in general, you are not alone. It doesn’t mean your life is doomed and that you will never find yourself again. It simply means you are going through an incubation period and transformation. The key is not to get stuck in your current lost state and to tap into your creative power to create a life you love. Here are seven tips that will help you out of this lost state and remind you of the power you have to create a life you love. 1. Remember what you love to do and go do it! Do you remember the last time you had fun in your life? Do you remember when things felt easy and in the flow? It was likely because you were fully engrossed in the fun of the moment. As we grow up, we lose sight of how amazing life can be because we feel burdened by the responsibilities and mundane parts of life. It’s time to reconnect with what you love and to take action on it. No more excuses about not having the time, money, resources, babysitter etc. Make a commitment to do what you love and watch your life change before your very eyes. 2. Go on an adventure. Whether it’s a day trip, a solitary retreat, or a week-long drive along the coast, go out and explore the world. This will not only allow you to tap into the flow, but it will also give you the time and focus to really reconnect with yourself again. You’ll be away from the noise of your regular life and will be able to see and experience the world with fresh eyes. I promise, when you come back you will have far more clarity about where you are going than you had when you started. 3. Reconnect with your dreams and dream BIG. What kinds of dreams did you have for your life before you lost yourself in the busy-ness of life? What have you since deemed impossible or improbable because of where you are today? Grab a journal and reconnect with the dreams you once had and better yet, come up with some new dreams. In a perfect world, what would you love to be, have, or do? What is your soul aching for? Once you reconnect with your dreams, you’ll have the desire and inspiration to begin to take action and suddenly you will have found yourself again. 4. Expand your comfort zone regularly. It’s time to get uncomfortable by trying new things and meeting new people. Growth doesn’t happen by staying in your bubble of comfort where everything is familiar. Challenge yourself to do something that is slightly terrifying, yet invigorating. That is what I like to call the zone. It’s the space where you are stretching yourself just enough to continue to grow and evolve. What’s the first thing that came to mind for you? Go do that! 5. Get quiet and listen. Everyday there are signs, messages, and guideposts that will inspire you to act, but you only notice them if you are open. With all the mind chatter and busy-ness we have these days it can be difficult to recognize the signs that are all around, so it’s important to get quiet and listen. Pay attention to the signs on the road, songs on the radio, and the people you meet in the street. There are messengers all around with Divine guidance to help you move forward on your path. Your key to finding yourself may very well be on a billboard or come to you as a thought in the shower. Listen up, pay attention, and then follow through on your inspired action. 6. Remember you have the power to be, have, and do anything you desire. Sometimes the feeling of being lost is all-consuming and you forget that you get to choose what you think and how you feel. You are given a great amount of power to create the life you desire and get the answers you are looking for. Whether you use affirmations, mantras, meditation, yoga, journaling or something else, it’s important to focus on the beauty and joy around you. When you do that, the Universe sends you more of the same, including the answers you are seeking. 7. Ask for help. There are so many people in the world whose purpose it is to help people like you. Reach out and ask for help. You don’t have to figure this out all on your own and sometimes simply having a chat with someone can provide the insight you need to move forward with ease. Whether it’s a life coach, mentor, friend, counselor, or the Divine, ask for help and be open to the guidance and tools that come your way. Let’s keep the conversation going. What has helped you find yourself when you were feeling lost? Share in the comments below, I’d love to hear your input.
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The love of your life. Your soul mate. Your life partner. That special someone. Whether we admit it or not, many of us are seeking to find our perfect complement. We crave having someone by our side who will love us through our moments of imperfection, and share the memories of our lives with us. We’ve seen enough movies about it, so it must be possible, right? Love is no fairy tale, so you can stop looking for a perfect "10" who fulfills all the qualifications on your wish list. It is possible, however, to find someone to stand by your side, brave the messiness of the world, and help you experience life to its fullest potential. How do you set the foundation to attract this kind of love in your life? Be authentic. To find real love, you must first emphasize your true self. If you want someone to love you through your moments of imperfection, you must first be willing to do that for someone else. Be real with yourself, so you are ready for someone else's authenticity. Be your best self. Though opposites can attract, you must first understand that "like attracts like." You set the caliber for the individual you want to spend your life with. You wouldn't look for a lethargic, gluttonous, stingy complainer with ketchup stains on their shirt, so identify ways to clean up your own act first. Be confident. Be confident in yourself, your decisions, and your ability to attract love into your life. If you are being your authentic, best self, this confidence will radiate from you in a glow of self-worth. You will attract someone who recognizes, appreciates, and loves who you are. Be open. If your desire is to meet someone new, then you must be willing to connect and open up with the people around you. If someone next to you in the coffee line strikes up a conversation, be willing to engage. Even if that person is not to be the love of your life, practice openness anyway. Developing this energy of openness will help you facilitate iterations that may lead to lasting relationships. Be happy. Perhaps the most important secret of this list is to be happy. Everyone wants to be around happy people; happiness is magnetic. So focus your energy on thinking about and doing the things that make you happy.
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True love is rare. Finding someone who fills your life and meets your spiritual, emotional, and physical needs is hard, and doesn’t happen to everyone. You can give yourself the best shot, however, by being open to love if and when it arrives – by being “available,” knowing yourself and what you need, and getting to know new people. Grieve for a while. You need to be “available” to find true love. The first thing is to get over heartache or past love, accept the loss, and start to come to terms with it. This takes time. It’s also hard. But, you’ll never be able to move on if you don’t stop to grieve. Make the choice to let go. Say to yourself, “It’s over and I need to move on.” Otherwise, you may end up sabotaging your future efforts. Express your pain. Part of grieving is emotion! Let it out directly, vent to a friend, or write it out in a letter that you’ll never send to your ex. Forgive. This is a key part of moving on. It doesn’t mean forgetting what happened, but choosing to release your hurt and anger and move forward. Don’t give in to self-pity. Grieving is totally natural, but try not to get carried away. Take ownership for the past and don’t cast yourself as a victim in love. After all, you played a part in your relationships. While grieving, acknowledge your role in the heartbreak. Ask yourself, “Did I go wrong? How? What could I have done differently?” Self-pity is easy and feels good. Resist it. Say, “I’m not going to keep feeling bad about someone else and what they did; I’m going to start to feel good.” Do some self-examination. As said, coming to terms with the past isn’t easy. But you need to be honest and confront it head-on, rather than letting things fester. Do some serious self-examination. Look at your personal qualities with an eye to self-improvement. List your strengths and weaknesses. Write down things – qualities, talents, habits, ticks – that you consider to be strengths, like generosity or emotional openness. Then, list weaknesses. Are you a natural pessimist, for example? Maybe you are stingy with money? Note common elements. Do you always tend to love the same type of people? Are there mistakes, patterns, or repeated dynamics in your past relationships? Try to find and identify what they are.
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Why do so many hard-working managers understand what makes people perform, yet still undermine the success of their business? Why do so many companies fund training programmes and knowledge management initiatives, but see little benefit from those efforts? Knowing what to do isn’t enough. Companies must inspire action to turn all of this knowledge into achievements that improve their business results. In many companies managers spend so much time fighting internal battles they have little time left to fight the company’s competitors. Points are scored on the elaborateness of internal presentations (so people spend inordinate amounts of time preparing them to impress their bosses) and not on tangible results. In other companies the penalty for failure is so great that managers spend their time preserving the status quo instead of trying to find new approaches. The fear that someone else might develop a better method or gain more recognition and, perhaps, a greater reward, prevents people from learning from each other, but it doesn’t have to be this way. If you observe the following guidelines, you can make the most of your company’s collective knowledge.
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Wayne Walter Dyer (May 10, 1940 – August 29, 2015) was an American philosopher, self-help author, and a motivational speaker. His first book, Your Erroneous Zones (1976), is one of the best-selling books of all time, with an estimated 35 million copies sold to date. Dyer was born in Detroit, Michigan, to Melvin Lyle Dyer and Hazel Irene Vollick, and spent much of his first ten years in an orphanage on the east side of Detroit,after his father walked out on the family, leaving his mother to raise three small boys. His parents had moved from Ontario, Canada, and were members of Baptist Church. After graduating from Denby High School, Dyer served in the United States Navy from 1958 to 1962. He received his Ed.D. degree in counseling from Wayne State University for a dissertation titled Group Counseling Leadership Training in Counselor Education, under the supervision of Mildred Peters.
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Alan Wilson Watts (6 January 1915 – 16 November 1973) was a British philosopher, writer, and speaker, best known as an interpreter and populariser of Eastern philosophy for a Western audience. Born in Chislehurst, England, he moved to the United States in 1938 and began Zen training in New York. Pursuing a career, he attended Seabury-Western Theological Seminary, where he received a master's degree in theology. Watts became an Episcopal priest in 1945, then left the ministry in 1950 and moved to California, where he joined the faculty of the American Academy of Asian Studies. Watts gained a large following in the San Francisco Bay Area while working as a volunteer programmer at KPFA, a Pacifica Radio station in Berkeley. Watts wrote more than 25 books and articles on subjects important to Eastern and Western religion, introducing the then-burgeoning youth culture to The Way of Zen (1957), one of the first bestselling books on Buddhism. In Psychotherapy East and West (1961), Watts proposed that Buddhism could be thought of as a form of psychotherapy and not a religion. He considered Nature, Man and Woman (1958) to be, "from a literary point of view—the best book I have ever written." He also explored human consciousness, in the essay "The New Alchemy" (1958), and in the book The Joyous Cosmology (1962). Towards the end of his life, he divided his time between a houseboat in Sausalito and a cabin on Mount Tamalpais. Many of his books are now available in digital format and many of his recorded talks and lectures are available on the Internet. According to the critic Erik Davis, his "writings and recorded talks still shimmer with a profound and galvanizing lucidity."
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If you suffer from anxiety, you'll know how debilitating it can be. Mel Robbins, a highly successful motivational speaker, author and coach, devised this particular technique to curb her own anxiety, and it’s one of my favourites. In this video interview, she explains how she suffered from anxiety and how she developed and now uses this technique. With practice, it can help alleviate anxiety and worry in a short space of time. She also explains how to deal with panic attacks, how to be perceived as more confident in meetings and how to improve your chances of promotion. So, give this a watch, put the techniques into practice and start to feel less anxious. Hypnotherapy can be a very effective way of overcoming anxiety.
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When we hear of strength training we immediately think of lifting weights or something to do with physical strength. It seems as if more focus is given to physical fitness and to a lesser degree on one's emotional fitness. Emotional fitness must receive more attention because without it we can become emotionally, mentally and physically paralyzed, unable to achieve the kind of success we deserve. Some of us are emotionally stronger than others. Some of us even have an inherent resilience. The emotionally strong person can handle enormous challenges. Even though the pressures of life may be overwhelming and they may become fragmented, the emotionally strong person is resilient, gaining knowledge from their struggles and developing emotional ammunition to recover and move forward. The emotionally fit person will stop at nothing to find solutions for whatever difficulties arise while maintaining a forward struggle. The not so emotionally strong person will also become fragmented when faced with the pressures and challenges of life but they are not as resilient. Some may become depressed, others may give in to drugs and alcohol to cope, while others may become overwhelmed and give up. Many people invest in self-help books, searching for answers while others meet frequently with therapists to find solutions. Some attend seminars or purchase offers of feeling better, longing to feel something inside they know they lack. What many don't realize is that the "use it or lose it rule" that applies to physical strength training also applies to emotional strength training. Let's examine further a workout training schedule to develop emotional strength. There is no one magic formula for achieving emotional strength, however, we will examine why it is important and the different ways in which we can improve our emotional strength. The first step to emotional strength training is defining your boundaries. By setting emotional boundaries you are identifying how you want to feel and what it would take to feel that way. For example, if you want to be treated with respect, you must know how much you are willing to tolerate and accept from others. When your boundaries are defined, you are teaching others how to treat you. By defining your emotional boundaries you are protecting yourself and building emotional muscle at the same time. By knowing your emotional boundaries, the subconscious take over and helps to alert you when the boundaries have been crossed. For example, if you have your boundaries set and you are in an unhealthy relationship where you despise the way you are treated, your subconscious will keep reminding you of your boundaries and will instigate action for creating change. It will assist you in taking the necessary steps to protect yourself. In the meantime you are strengthening your emotions and building self-respect. Setting emotional boundaries helps you to stay motivated in achieving what you want to feel. As you realize new boundaries each day you will establish a new set of rules for yourself. As you live by these rules the feelings you want to feel will emerge. The emotional muscles will just keep growing and before long you will have the stamina to handle more challenges that arise in your life. Determine how you want to feel, Know what you are willing to accept. Know what you are willing to do to begin to feel emotionally strong. Remember, this is how you set your emotional boundaries. Weight training helps to reduce the risk of injury and allows the body to withstand stress. So it is when strength training emotionally - you are more equipped to handle the crises in your life and are less vulnerable. An important step towards emotional strength training is letting go of the emotional baggage that you've been hauling around for years. It's amazing how emotional baggage can take up permanent residence in our lives because letting them go at first feels too uncomfortable. You may have had to endure severe trauma as a child or adult, feeling guilty or shameful over some past event, or festering with anger or resentment. You may have difficulty forgiving someone who hurt you and have developed an emotional wall, impossible for love to penetrate. Emotional strength training can only take place when you can free yourself of unnecessary weight and allow yourself the freedom to emotionally breathe. In order to let go of the emotional baggage you must never allow events of the past to define who you are. The past is the past and must be used as lessons for the future but never to block our emotional pathway. It can become easy to allow others or certain experiences to define you - now it's time to put an end to the old way and get ready for emotional liberation.
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In many ways your status as a grown up depends on your success at finding a partner, buying a home, and reproducing. But despite the pictures that popular media paints about the glory of love, romantic relationships are one of the most difficult paths you can walk in life. Again and again, I’ve seen my clients and friends struggle with finding or maintaining healthy relationships and of course I’m no exception. I’ve had wonderful relationships and very unhealthy ones. I’ve gone through long stretches on loneliness, I’ve been unfaithful to partners, and I’ve engaged in a series of meaningless sexual encounters with little to no emotional connection. Yet despite my trials I haven’t given up on love instead I’ve come to understand that it’s the unique challenge of relationships that makes them so rewarding. Let’s look at some of the reasons relationships are so hard and why that also makes them amazing.
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It is nearly impossible to sift through the hundreds of articles published each year on psychological strengths. I empathize with parents who want to know which strengths are most important to cultivate in their children, as nothing is to be gained by trying to develop every valuable attribute. I empathize with organizations, including schools, first responders, and social entrepreneurs who want to create a culture in which each person can maximize their potential. All of us are deluged by too much information. But there is another insidious problem in psychology: Too many researchers focus their energies on their favorite pet construct, never adequately testing if it deserves more attention than the alternatives. There are researchers who specialize in gratitude. Others specialize in forgiveness, and others in self-compassion, or optimism, or grit, or savoring. Some are hyperfocused on happiness—and a competing group is hyperfocused on meaning and purpose in life. Each research team spends a lot of time showcasing how their baby predicts a satisfying life, healthy relationships, physical health, and other elements of well-being.
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Self-control separates us from our ancient ancestors and the rest of the animal kingdom, thanks to our large prefrontal cortex. It is the ability to subdue our impulses in order to achieve longer-term goals. Rather than responding to immediate impulses, we can plan, evaluate alternative actions, and, often enough, avoid doing things we'll later regret. The ability to exert self-control is typically called willpower. It is what allows us to direct our attention, and it underlies all kinds of achievement. There is significant debate in science as to whether or not willpower is a finite resource. Studies demonstrate that exercising willpower makes heavy demands on mental energy, notably on reserves of glucose, the brain's preferred fuel, creating ego depletion. It's one reason we're more apt to reach for that chocolate chip cookie when we're feeling stressed than when we're feeling on top of the world. Recently, scientists have failed to replicate some of the studies underlying the concept of ego depletion, and more research is underway.
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Melanie "Mel" Robbins (née Schneeberger on October 6, 1968) is an American on-air CNN commentator, television host, life coach, author, motivational speaker, contributing editor for Success (magazine). Robbins is best known for her coverage of the George Zimmerman trial and host of A&E's Monster In-Laws. Robbins grew up in North Muskegon, Michigan. She attended Dartmouth College from 1986 to 1990, where she studied history, film and women studies. She received a law degree from Boston College Law School in 1994. Prior to joining CNN, Robbins worked as a criminal defense attorney, launched and sold a retail and internet technology company according to her official website and hosted Cox Media Group's "The Mel Robbins Show," A&E's "Monster In-Laws," FOX's "Someone's Gotta Go" and was a contributing editor to Success Magazine. In 2011, Robbins published her first book: "Stop Saying You're Fine". On February 28, 2017, Robbins released her second book "The Five Second Rule". When you're stuck in a rut, it often feels like you need a big change--a new job, a globetrotting dream vacation, a wildly different, way healthier, lifestyle. But the problem with big changes is that they're usually terrifying. And expensive. And difficult. So you end up just sitting there in your dreary rut, dreaming of a major life overhaul but actually managing to change nothing. How do you break out of this cycle? Experts are pretty clear on the answer. Give up your big dreams, at least initially, and start with small changes instead. Warm up to a new life with lots of little actions that expand your horizons, increase your energy, spur your creativity, and provide valuable feedback about what habits and paths will actually work for you.
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It can be so frustrating when people advise you, “Just follow your passion!” Yeah, sure, you’d love to—if only you knew what your passion was. You’re probably the kind of person who works hard, with commitment and persistence. When you know what you’re doing, nothing will stop you. But before you can become unstoppable, you need to know what you’re starting. Before you can follow your passion, you have to find it. If you’re feeling stuck, here are five fresh ways to discover what you really want to do with your life. Take time to work through the process and know that, no matter what, you’ll be getting closer to where you want to be. 1. Start With the Right Perspective If you went into a restaurant with the strong opinion—“I’m not hungry. There’ll be nothing here I want to eat. I don’t want to be here”—the menu isn’t going to look appealing. You won’t explore it with due time or attention, and it’s unlikely you’ll find food you’ll enjoy eating. The same principle applies to passion-seeking. If you’re convinced that finding your passion is hard, or that it’s not going to happen for you, you’ll remain closed to possibilities. You’ll block the little nudges, pulls, and signals that guide us all. After all, how can you expect to find fulfilling work if you don’t believe it exists? Choose to adopt the perspective that you can do what you love with your life. One of the best ways to strengthen this point of view is to surround yourself with people who are living examples. How many of your friends and family are following their passions? If it’s not many, it might be time to expand your circle; associate with—and be inspired by—men and women who are inspired by their work. 2. Get Out Your Metal Detector Once you’ve decided that your passion is findable, it’s time to look for evidence of what you already love to do. If you scan the landscape of your life, you’ll notice certain experiences peak up. It’s so valuable to delve into these “peak moments” and extract the key ingredients. Consider yourself a beach-trawler, discerning between the gold and the cheap metal. For example, one of my favorite summer jobs involved teaching English to teenagers. I might assume the key ingredient was the English language, or young people. But when I paid attention to my metaphorical metal detector, it become clear that the bleep went off when I was being a leader within a community, and teaching that community something of great value to them. That’s exactly what I do now in my work—but without the teenagers, present perfect tense, or vocabulary tests! Make a list of the ingredients that truly mattered in your peak moments; don’t be distracted by the counterfeits. 3. Look for the Umbrella When you look at all the ingredients that matter to you, they might at first seem entirely disconnected. Let’s say you love French, drinking coffee, playing with words, analyzing and categorizing, and being a leader within a community. How could you construct a career from these? It'd be like peering into your cupboard and seeing cocoa powder, tofu, and carrots and wondering: How could I possibly make something delicious that includes all of these? This is the time to look beyond the ingredients and seek an umbrella; something that all of these ingredients can fit beneath. For example, my colleague Abby—whose diverse passions are described above—helps business owners to find the right words to fit their brand. She analyzes and categorizes copy into what she calls “voice values.” She draws wisdom from previously running a funky French lifestyle boutique, and French words pepper her own copy, giving her brand that special je ne sais quoi. She’s become known as a leader for those who want to communicate effectively with their potential clients. Oh—and she’s built a recognizable Pinterest profile showcasing her favorite coffee houses. All of these passions fit under the overarching umbrella of her business; they’ve all found a home there, and the variety actually helps her to stand out and attract her perfect clients. What might be your umbrella?
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Have you ever had an emotional freak out over a breakup with a partner, fight with a family member, huge financial pressures or simply feel like everything is crashing down on you? This can cause you to feel stuck in your emotional turmoil and leave you paralysed from not being able to control your situation. After much trial and error, I have discovered 8 powerful methods to move you quickly from your negative state and get you attracting solutions and better outcomes. Most of the methods I learned are what some men do naturally. Men seem to be more stable in difficult times as they don’t invest as much emotion in them as women. I read an insightful quote from a blogger named Patrick Allen “ ...accepting failure, being okay with not getting what you want right now, is one of the best, best success strategies, but it takes mental toughness…” and “Learn to delay gratification and let things go” It’s human nature to try and fix things or take control over people and situations to make you feel safe and secure. It feels uncomfortable to allow things to be and not feel panic. It may be hard, but resist reacting to situations until the time is right for you to respond. I have come to realise that all my painful experiences have pushed me to be more in every way. I now choose to never waste an opportunity to grow as my pain tells me I need to change. So now, I cut to the chase and just get working on myself. It has taken me years to even realise there are shortcuts to overcoming emotional stress. It is all about working on yourself instead of what is happening around you.
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Link to the impersonation channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVowIC1KVQ3gWJDe54wD-fw Step 1: Make a list of your negative emotions Make a list of any negative emotion you have experienced today. For example: Anger Sadness Frustration Impatience Boredom Anxiety Step 2: Make a list of your attachments to desires Now make another list of all your attachments to desires. These are all the things that you will suffer without. For example: Money Relationship Sex Job Acceptance by others / need to be liked Happiness / need to be happy all the time Staying busy / freedom from boredom Alcohol / cigarettes / drugs Staying young Step 3: Connect your negative emotions to your list of attachments to desires Now combine your two lists. Connect each of your negative emotions to your list of attachments to desires. For example: Sadness: Relationship Frustration and Impatience: Happiness / need to be happy all the time Boredom: Staying busy / freedom from boredom Anxiety: Money, Acceptance by others / need to be liked, Staying young Step 4: Realize that nothing lasts There are many types of suffering, but there’s one that’s worth contemplating above all others: nothing lasts. Life is short, the clock never stops ticking, and the time of your death will be a surprise. -Dzogchen Ponlop, Rebel Buddha: A Guide to a Revolution of Mind Now, using the theme that “Nothing Lasts”, write down each of your attachments to desires. Template- “I’ll never have ____ permanently.” For example: I’ll never have a job permanently, or have 100% job security I’ll never be happy all the time I won’t always fit in or be accepted by other people I’ll never have a relationship that will last forever I can’t stay young and I won’t live forever Step 5: Contemplate getting all of your desires Meditating on impermanence and seeing the transient nature of things helps us to let go of attachment and to set our priorities wisely. Imagining getting all the things we are attached to and then asking ourselves, “Now am I forever happy?” enables us to stop obsessing about the things and people we are attached to. As we let go of the attachment, our fear of not having or of losing these objects of attachment will naturally dissipate. -Thubten Chodron, Buddhism for Beginners Take your list of attachments, and contemplate if you would be forever happy once you had them all. After this exercise, you will start to understand that getting the object of your desire is not the same as contentment: Whatever our desires may be, getting the object of our desire is not the same thing as contentment, which comes from within. In the end, we’ll never find complete contentment, a perfect sense of peace, if our mind isn’t content and at peace. Dzogchen Ponlop, Rebel Buddha: A Guide to a Revolution of Mind
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Change is painful. There is no way around that. It is painful because it requires giving up something you’ve been comfortable with (a belief, an attitude, a behavior) and have embraced for a long time. Letting go of an old habit is painful enough but then you have to integrate a new way of being and the learning curve on that can be steep. But change doesn’t hurt as much as staying stuck. Whatever you want for yourself or your family change is going to be required. No one gets to keep the same patterns and behaviors their entire life without a cost. Being human isn’t easy. Enduring the Pain of Change Here are a few thoughts on how to endure the pain of change Vision and Smile This maybe the one time I tell you to focus on the end result. Visualize the experience of you in this new behavior and what it will give. Smile about it and then do your very best to have your thoughts, speech and actions in alignment with that smile Breathe, it’s just a hot flash Notice that when you stay and breathe through the pain how brief the pain truly is. Our fear of the pain can keeps us from going through it. When in actuality the pain is not as long or as difficult as we imagine it to be. If you were a female about my age I’d say it’s last as long as a hot flash. They don’t feel good but they pass quickly. Get over it We are adults a.k.a. grown ups, and we just have to get over it being hard. You can do this. Recount your past success with change, however small. We forget how much we’ve done before when we are changing in the now. Get over it. Under it. Through it. Misery loves company Get an accountability partner to check in every single day. I’m being a sarcastic when I say misery loves company. Change happens much easier if you are working with someone else who wants change too. You can cheer each other on. When my coaching clients are integrating a new behavior I have them call or text me everyday for a month! I’ve got their back. If they don’t check in I check up on what is going on. Take a stand for change Speak up about your change. If someone wants to go shopping and your kicking the spending habit tell them “I’d love to spend time with you – let’s go for a walk”. Notice I didn’t go into an explanation about why I don’t want to shop. You can explain that but you don’t have to. Replace shopping with drinking, eating, gossiping. If the person keeps trying to lure you back into that old hell tell them you’re busy because you are. You’re busy changing. Change needs space and support. not seduction. Recalculating! Stop visiting places where hell lives. If you are changing how you compare yourself to others which invokes jealousy and hater behavior take a social media fast. Take a break from talking about your pain with friends and start talking-to yourself about your new you. Whenever I take a wrong turn my GPS systems says “recalculating” in the most annoying voice but she puts me back on the map heading in the right direction. Do that for yourself. Catch yourself when you hear your brain going to that same old tired belief and say out loud RECALCULATING! and have a good laugh. Believe You can have what the change will bring you. Belief cannot be understated. When I’m in San Francisco, I tell my friends: “let me drive I’ve got great parking karma”. I always get a great spot easily. Imagine what I could create throughout my life with this. Get up every morning focused on the now you. Go to sleep blessing yourself for your focus. Pray on it! Be Patient. You’ve been doing this old behavior for a really really long time. It’s going to take minute to get this new-now you together.
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1 Tune in to the affirmations that you are already using. If you’ve got ‘You never do anything right’ or ‘There’s no point in trying’ running through your mind most of the time, it’s no surprise that saying ‘I am a beautiful and unique soul’ ten times a day isn’t shifting the way that you feel about yourself. 2 Write down anything that you say to yourself over and over again so that you can take a more detached look at it. If you discover that your daily affirmation is ‘There’s no point in trying’, it might well be a step too far to replace it with ‘Everything I try succeeds’. But is true that there is no point in trying? Is that the only truth? What would you say to your best friend if they said that to you? Other research that I’ve talked about shows that we are absolutely brilliant at solving other people’s problems and we can put those same skills to use on our own when we imagine that we are helping out someone else with the same thing. 3 Replace the negative affirmation with something that you can believe and that inspires you. I’ve often shared that a few years back, at the end of a relationship, I had loads of thoughts whirling through my head that were pulling me all over the place emotionally. I felt unlovable and a failure and I could have really plunged into a downer about myself. But all of a sudden the thought just sprang into my mind, hang on. There are six billion people on this earth. Right now someone is sitting somewhere out there wanting to meet someone just like me. Just the idea of that made my vibration whoosh up and in that moment I sent out my own beacon of intention to guide them towards me. 4 If you find yourself stuck, know that there is always another way of looking at something, another story you can tell. Stalking our thoughts – watching our self talk, is a shamanic practice of power. Rooting out the affirmations that undermine us and replacing them with words of power that help us soar is a magical practice that can literally transform our lives. 5 Write a contract with yourself and sign it. Write down your commitment to you, forgiving yourself the past and starting from this moment afresh. Commit to treating yourself like your own best friend and write a list of nurturing things you will do for yourself each week You can do it!
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Everyone wants to be happy in life. You want to get up in the morning and greet the day with a smile, and you want to go to bed at night feeling content with life. Despite that understandable desire, you find yourself waking up with a groan and shuffling miserably through the day. Then, you come home at night and fall in bed feeling despondent. To make matters worse, there is nothing that stands out to you as a reason for you to be unhappy. It is not that you loathe your job or that your home life is stressful, so why do you constantly feel like you are down in the dumps?
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Learning hacks — they’re a thing, and while the college kids are heading back to school, it’s a good time for all of us to rethink the ways we learn. Student, professional, or parent, we’re all learning every day — whether it’s how to play guitar, use new software, raise a child or poach an egg, the mind is always soaking up new information. Make it easier with the following tips.
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Suppose your goal is to sleep only six hours a day and survive the next day. When the goal is set, you need to determine the current level of self-discipline. For example, you sleep nine hours a day and you want to sleep three hours less. You should progress toward your goal step-by-step. “Without self-discipline success is impossible, period.” Self-discipline is probably the biggest factor to consider when you decide to take compound interest seriously. Whether it is 10%, 15%, or 20% of your income that you set aside each month in order for that to become a huge sum via compound interest in some years from now, the compound interest system will never flourish if you don’t actually discipline yourself to make this idea a practice. “Self-control in the future is not a problem,” said Shlomo Benartzi, celebrated professor of behavioral finance at UCLA. It’s the same with saving. “We know we should be saving. We know we’ll do it next year. But today we go and spend.”
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The Value of Developing Your Mental Focus We all no doubt understand the importance of mental focus. While at school it was probably drilled into you that if you want to succeed you must stay focused and mentally alert at all times. And the same is of course true at work. When people get distracted or sidetracked that is when crucial information is missed; when critical mistakes are made. Given that many people clearly understand this idea, why is it that for the most part they struggle to stay focused? That of course isn’t an easy question to answer. There are more distractions today than probably at any point in human history. And this is why many people struggle to stay focused on the things they know are important, i.e. their goals, tasks, priorities and activities. Given this, have you ever considered what it actually means to maintain an adequate level of focus? To focus on something means having the ability to concentrate; to involve and immerse yourself (full sensory experience) within a task, activity or goal for an extended period of time without distraction. In other words, to focus on something is by no means a passive act. It’s rather something that requires your full involvement and interaction. This is a nice definition of what it means to stay focused, but I guess the challenge for most of us these days isn’t so much an inability to stay focused, it’s rather committing ourselves to stay focused on the right things. Every single person has the ability to stay focused on something for an extended period of time. For some it comes in the form of television, for others it comes in the form of playing video games, for others still it’s all about absorbing themselves within a book. In other words, we all have things that we really enjoy doing that make it easy to stay focused. If only we could harness this focused-attention and direct it onto things that really matter, i.e. achieving our goals and objectives. Consider for a moment something you do that keeps your focus for an extended period of time. Typically this activity or task is something you are passionate about. Typically it’s something that is probably enjoyable, somewhat challenging and something that allows some form of creative self-expression. In a nutshell those are the ingredients required to help you stay focused. However, this may still vary from person-to-person, so in that regard, take a few moments to ask yourself: What tasks, activities, hobbies or pastimes do I enjoy focusing on? What tasks or activities maintain my focused-attention for an extended period of time? What about these tasks and activities specifically allows me to stay focused? Do I find them enjoyable? Do I find them challenging? Do they stretch my imagination? Do they involve many of my senses? What senses specifically? Is there a social component that allows me to stay focused? Does the environment I am undertaking this task or activity play a part in maintaining my focus? Is there something I do specifically during the task or activity that helps me to stay focused? What exactly about these tasks or activities helps me maintain a focused-attention? Working through these questions will help you to pinpoint exactly what it is about these tasks, activities, hobbies or pastimes that helps you stay focused. In other words, you are essentially piecing together the unique ingredients required to help you maintain a high level of focus. The key then will be to seed those ingredients into the tasks, activities and goals that matter most. That is the only way you will convince your brain that you have what it takes to stay focused on your highest priorities, i.e. your goals and tasks.
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Confidence is key. I’ve said it and you’ve read it, many a time in many a form. Having a strong sense of self and belief in your value as an individual can truly be a critical element to your success at home, in the office, in relationships and generally in life. But, what happens when that sense of value gets a little out of hand? Or even a lot out of hand? Keeping tabs on your ego is also critical to harnessing the power of self-confidence. Ego derives from the Latin and Greek word, “I” and in English is used to mean the “self,” or “identity.” It’s a belief system you have that identifies your place in this world. So what happens when that belief system becomes skewed a little (or a lot) out of whack and you find that you’ve turned into “that guy” or “that girl” that everybody loves to hate: the ego maniac. Is that really so terrible? Yes, yes and YES. On multiple levels. Time to rein it in cowboys and girls, because your ego is going to destroy you.
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Everyone struggles to figure out who people truly are. Often when they define themselves they focus on the negative or how they compare to other people. Nobody but you can define who you are but this article has some tips on how to look at the ways you define yourself and how to make it positive. 1. Discovering Your Identity Know yourself. Self-knowledge, particularly non-judgemental self knowledge, is an incredibly important skill to help you define yourself. You'll need to understand what makes you tick and what your thought processes are before you can define who you are as a person. Mindfulness means paying attention to what you are thinking and observing your patterns of thought. For instance, you might realize that you have a tendency to feel that people don't care what you think and that your opinions are unimportant. Recognizing that you have these thoughts and catching them before they start causing you anxiety, can help you piece together the important parts of your identity. When you start paying attention to your thought processes and patterns you'll need to practice attentive non-judgment. This means being aware of your thought patterns and acknowledging them, but not beating yourself up over them. Everyone has negative thought patterns and processes. By paying attention to them, you can eliminate them from your mind. Notice how you identify yourself. Once you start paying attention to the way you think about yourself and about the world, look specifically for the ways in which you identify yourself. See what groups and communities you use to create your identity. All of these inform how you see yourself and tell you what you are letting define you. For example, look at things like religion, nationality, sexual identity and see if those are ways you define yourself. Look at the roles you take on, such as your job, your position in your family (mother, father, sister, brother), your romantic status (single, couple, etc.). Jot down thought processes and self definitions. To become adept at seeing your thought processes and definitions and how those determine how you act and who you are, write them down in a notebook as you identify them. You'll be able to see how you consider yourself and it will make it easier to eliminate the negative associations. Talking to and working with a clinical psychologist can greatly help in uncovering patterns of thinking and being. They can also help you deal with the more negative aspects of your thinking. 2. Creating Your Self-Definition Record your negative definitions. Recording them and paying attention to them will help you let go of them. Getting them out in the open can help to take away some of their hold on your mind and self. Don't limit yourself in negative ways. Definition of the self determines the action. So, for instance, if you're defining yourself as someone who has bad romantic relationships, you've already lost the potential for a good romantic relationship. It is a story that you tell yourself, and then because you believe the story, you will already be behaving in ways that make the story true. Identify your core values. You don't want to define yourself based on outside forces, because outside forces are volatile and subject to constant change. By basing your self-definition on core values, you will have a better chance of having a stable self-definition. You won't lose your self identity if you base it on values you hold at your core, like compassion, courage, integrity. Write down a list of these values and consciously and mindfully act them out in your daily life. Therefore, if courage is one of your core values, stand up for someone being harassed at the bus stop, or if honesty is a core value, fess up to having lost your father's favorite watch. If compassion is on that list, spend time volunteering at a homeless shelter. Define yourself in positive ways. This doesn't mean that you don't acknowledge the negative events and actions that have happened in your life. They are as much a part of you as the positive, but they do not define you. This means don't let outside circumstances rule your identity. That comes from within in, from the core values that you have already identified as being important to your identity. Understand that the negative experiences in your life have offered knowledge. For example, if you have had negative experiences with romance, learn from those experiences. What have they taught you about the kind of person you want to be?
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3% of the world’s population control 90% of the world’s resources. So why would you not follow them, instead of following the crowd? They are passionate and focussed, but so are many of the crowd. So, what is the key difference? Well, in a word it is paradigm – their (self) beliefs, values and specific and absolute positive focus on their burning desire – they know what they want and they know how to get it. Your paradigm is ‘located’ in your subconscious; some say, including the ancient Greeks, that it’s in your heart. For me, it’s kind of the same – it is all about passion, love, feelings, emotions; all the attributes you associate with the heart. Your conscious mind is responsible for only 3-4% of you thought process, the balance comes from your subconscious. It is vital therefore that you get your paradigm right in order to maximise your success rate and live your dreams (and perhaps become one of the 3%; well, why not?). Tony Robbins (February 29, 1960) is an American author, entrepreneur, philanthropist and life coach.Tony Robbins is known for his infomercials, seminars, and self-help books including Unlimited Power and Awaken the Giant Within. Approximately 4 million people have attended his live seminars. Tony Robbins is the founder of several companies which earn approximately $5 billion in annual sales. In 2015 and 2016 he was listed on the Worth Magazine Power 100 list.Tony Robbins is also an active philanthropist, partnering with organizations such as Feeding America. Robbins was born Anthony J. Mahavoric in North Hollywood, California, on February 29, 1960. His surname was originally spelled 'Mohorović' and is of Croatian origin. Tony Robbins is the eldest of three children and his parents divorced when he was 7. His mother then had a series of husbands, including Jim Robbins, a former semiprofessional baseball player who legally adopted Anthony when he was 12. Robbins was raised in Azusa and Glendora, California, and attended Glendora High School. Tony Robbins was elected student body president in his senior year. While growing up, Robbins worked as a handyman to help provide for his siblings. During high school, Robbins grew ten inches, a growth spurt later attributed to a pituitary tumor. Tony Robbins has said his home life was "chaotic" and "abusive." When he was seventeen years old, he left home and never returned. Robbins later worked as a janitor, and did not attend college.
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Whether you’ve lost yourself in a relationship, a job, your role as a parent or feel an overwhelming sense of being lost in life, you are not alone. Your life isn’t doomed and you will find yourself again. When you feel lost, it means you are going through a growth and transformational period. But here’s the battle– to not get stuck in your current emotional state.
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It must be understood there exist multiple ways to handle fear. Depending on your nature it may not be easy to dispel certain fears, especially if you are hardwired to have a fear. When possible: release fear all together. Since fear isn’t “real” but rather represents a negative potential. The less energy you put into that fear, the less energy you place into manifesting your fear into reality.80% of fears can literally just be released outright without worry. Practice Awareness Be more aware of all potentials around you. With awareness you can more easily navigate around potentials you don’t want to experience. Practice mind, body and spiritual exercises to keep one in shape The more you build up your own potential in being strong, balanced and clear, the more options you can access to move around issues, problems and outcomes you would fear.Likewise educate yourself, educating yourself is a mind based exercise, that teaches your mind how to more carefully handle the potentials surrounding your fears. More times than not, education lets you jump back to step one, to allow you to release your fear and thus allowing one to dispel most fears outright with just a little more information. Understand your own nature.If you have a natural fear to something, you can then work towards outside help to help teach you ways to handle or examine those fears in a safer manner. Be patient with yourself in this. We have some fears for a reason, and always first take a look at your fear to see if it is something that is helping you avoid a true problem ahead. Then revise your actions accordingly Turn off the news and mass media. Modern societies are now all fear based. The whole system revolves around fears to keep people in line and to sell merchandise. If you live to a fear base society, you live and eat fear and it’s hard to avoid fear.For instance: eat only humanely grown food. If you eat meat (or even plants) produced in fear based, over crowded growing conditions: you are eating the stress hormones and other fear based by products of that growth. You can literally ingest fear.This means live locally, be in a strong community and turn off the propaganda and fear marketing. Get help for the times when fear is based on a real pressing issue. Sometimes we must face an abusive person or a situation where fear has gone beyond being a negative potential. When this is the case, Get help! You are not alone and we live in society to help each other solve problems. It’s together we make the world a better place. You cannot hold to fear! Fear must be released! To hold fear is to accept the negative potentials that fear represents. You can release fear by tackling it head on to remove it or to simple let go of it. However, you cannot hold onto fear without the negative factors that fear represents from eroding your life away and reinforcing the fear itself. To live to fear is to ensure all your own potentials erode away into nothing. Learn to live life fully and learn to release what isn’t reality from your life. Fear is never ever a positive situation. So remove and release fear to grow in your life.
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1. Find your WHY behind your goal The first step to ensuring you actually stick to your goals is making sure this goal is ultimately what YOU want. A lot of the time we think we want to be, have or do a certain thing but really it’s just someone else’s goal that sounds good or it’s societies way of conditioning us. Let me explain, you may think that having the goal to move up in rank for the company you work at is a great goal, however, you actually visualize yourself opening your own business doing something completely different. You will never do what it takes to reach the goal of CEO in the company you currently work for if that position is not what you truly want in life. Goals set from your WHY are extremely powerful. Your WHY is that emotion and reasoning deep down that forces you to persevere in adversity. You will often find yourself overcoming obstacles with ease and continually having the inspiration to move forward if your goal comes from a place of an absolute burning desire. 2. Take each day as it comes and focus on what you can do NOW Start living in the NOW. Focus all your efforts on what you can do to reach your goal today, instead of thinking about all the work and time you need to invest in the future. For example, if your goal is around fitness – push yourself 110% during todays workout. Be present in the gym right now and stop thinking about the workouts left in this week and begin taking it easy thinking you will put more effort in tomorrow. Do that extra set, run that extra mile and lift that little bit more TODAY. If your goal is work related – do that little bit more TODAY that most wouldn’t. Make 10 extra sales calls, complete those last 2 tasks on your ‘to do list’, start that project you keep putting off you know you have to do. 3. Split your goal into bite sized chunks You know what your overall goal is, now break it down into smaller, more manageable sized tasks. Often we become overwhelmed by the enormity of our goal and it paralyses us from taking any progressive action. The solution to this self sabotage is to set smaller, more achievable goals that lead you in the direction of your desired outcome.
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Emanuel James "Jim" Rohn (September 17, 1930 – December 5, 2009) was an American entrepreneur, author and motivational speaker. Emanuel James "Jim" Rohn was born in Yakima, Washington, to Emanuel and Clara Rohn. The Rohns owned and worked a farm in Caldwell, Idaho, where Jim grew up as an only child. Rohn left college after just one year and started his professional life by working as a stock clerk for department store Sears. Around this time, a friend invited him to a lecture given by entrepreneur John Earl Shoaff. In 1955, Rohn joined Shoaff's direct selling business AbundaVita as a distributor. In 1957, Rohn resigned his distributorship with AbundaVita and joined Nutri-Bio, another direct selling company. It was at this point that the company's founders, including Shoaff, started to mentor him. After this mentorship, Rohn built one of the largest organizations in the company. In 1960 when Nutri-Bio expanded into Canada, Shoaff and the other founders selected Rohn as a vice president for the organization. After Nutri-Bio went out of business in the early 1960s, Rohn was invited to speak at a meeting of his Rotary Club. Jim Rohn accepted and, soon, others began asking him to speak at various luncheons and other events. In 1963 at the Beverly Hills Hotel, Jim Rohn gave his first public seminar. Jim Rohn then began presenting seminars all over the country, telling his story and teaching his personal development philosophy. Throughout the 1970s, Rohn conducted a number of seminars for Standard Oil. At the same time, Jim Rohn participated in a personal development business called "Adventures in Achievement", which featured both live seminars as well as personal development workshops. Jim Rohn presented seminars worldwide for more than 40 years. Rohn mentored Mark R. Hughes (the founder of Herbalife International) and life coach Tony Robbins in the late 1970s. Others who credit Rohn for his influence on their careers include authors Mark Victor Hansen and Jack Canfield (Chicken Soup book series), author/lecturer Brian Tracy, Todd Smith, and T. Harv Eker. Rohn also coauthored the novel Twelve Pillars with Chris Widener. Rohn was the recipient of the 1985 National Speakers Association CPAE Award for excellence in speaking. Jim Rohn is also the author of 17 different written, audio, and video media.
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1. “Character consists of what you do on the third and fourth tries.” ―James A. Michener 15 Inspiring Quotes About Never Giving Up 2. “Winners never quit, and quitters never win.” ―Vince Lombardi 15 Inspiring Quotes About Never Giving Up 3. “It always seems impossible until it’s done.” ―Nelson Mandela 15 Inspiring Quotes About Never Giving Up 4. “How long should you try? Until.” ―Jim Rohn 15 Inspiring Quotes About Never Giving Up 5. “There is no failure except in no longer trying.” ―Elbert Hubbard 15 Inspiring Quotes About Never Giving Up 6. “You just can’t beat the person who won’t give up.” ―Babe Ruth 15 Inspiring Quotes About Never Giving Up 7. “Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about.” ―Winston Churchill 15 Inspiring Quotes About Never Giving Up 8. “Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” ―Dale Carnegie 15 Inspiring Quotes About Never Giving Up 9. “Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.” ―Harriet Beecher Stowe 15 Inspiring Quotes About Never Giving Up 10. “You do what you can for as long as you can, and when you finally can’t, you do the next best thing. You back up but you don’t give up.” ―Chuck Yeager 15 Inspiring Quotes About Never Giving Up 11. “Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” ―Thomas Edison 15 Inspiring Quotes About Never Giving Up 12. “It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” ―Confucius 15 Inspiring Quotes About Never Giving Up 13. “If you fall behind, run faster. Never give up, never surrender, and rise up against the odds.” ―Jesse Jackson 15 Inspiring Quotes About Never Giving Up 14. “Survival can be summed up in three words―never give up. That’s the heart of it really. Just keep trying.” ―Bear Grylls 15 Inspiring Quotes About Never Giving Up 15. “Successful men and women keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.” ―Conrad Hilton
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Tony Robbins (February 29, 1960) is an American author, entrepreneur, philanthropist and life coach.Tony Robbins is known for his infomercials, seminars, and self-help books including Unlimited Power and Awaken the Giant Within. Approximately 4 million people have attended his live seminars. Tony Robbins is the founder of several companies which earn approximately $5 billion in annual sales. In 2015 and 2016 he was listed on the Worth Magazine Power 100 list.Tony Robbins is also an active philanthropist, partnering with organizations such as Feeding America. Robbins was born Anthony J. Mahavoric in North Hollywood, California, on February 29, 1960. His surname was originally spelled 'Mohorović' and is of Croatian origin. Tony Robbins is the eldest of three children and his parents divorced when he was 7. His mother then had a series of husbands, including Jim Robbins, a former semiprofessional baseball player who legally adopted Anthony when he was 12. Robbins was raised in Azusa and Glendora, California, and attended Glendora High School. Tony Robbins was elected student body president in his senior year. While growing up, Robbins worked as a handyman to help provide for his siblings. During high school, Robbins grew ten inches, a growth spurt later attributed to a pituitary tumor. Tony Robbins has said his home life was "chaotic" and "abusive." When he was seventeen years old, he left home and never returned. Robbins later worked as a janitor, and did not attend college.
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We fear things that may, or will, happen to us (such as dying, getting cancer, looking old, being old, being alone) and we fear many things we have to do (such as making a public speech, learning to drive, passing exams, making decisions, sticking up for ourselves). These fears may all appear to be very different. But they aren't. The common theme which links these separate fears is a fear of rejection, disapproval, failure and, rather more commonly than you might think, a fear of success. And the underlying fear behind all these emotions is the simple fear of not being able to deal with things - of not being able to cope with rejection, with disapproval, with failure or with success. It is that - the fear of not being able to cope - which is the fundamental fear which affects us all. We worry about things which may (or may not) happen because we worry that we will not be able to cope with the consequences. Dealing With Fear Is Simpler Than You Think You almost certainly have more than one fear. You probably have scores - even hundreds of fears. You may, indeed, be one of the small number of people who seem to fear just about anything and everything - in which case fear probably rules your life. If you try to deal separately with all your different fears you will soon be exhausted. Two Ways To Conquer Fear There are two basic ways of tackling - and conquering - fear. The first is to build up your inner strength so that you are better able to cope - and so that you know that you will be better able to cope with any fear you have to confront. The second is to identify, isolate and study your fears. Our greatest fears involve the unknown. Know your fears and you will move a long way towards emasculating them.
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Successful people and winners fascinate me. I always wonder what makes them so different from others. Therefore, I read books about successful people and try to observe what are the winning habits that they have. Here are the five of them that I had discovered. 1. They have an end in mind You feel lost when you do not have a destination to move towards. People who achieved great success have an end in mind. They know what they want and they commit themselves to achieve it. When you have a goal, you have something to focus on. If you do not have a goal, you will be wandering around feeling lost. Having an end in mind can help guide you towards your destination. 2. Have a reason Having an end in mind is only one part of the story. Winners have a reason behind their goals. They know their purpose behind achieving their goals. The journey towards your goals is full of obstacles. Most people gave up half way because they lack reasons behind their goals. However, those who have strong reasons behind their goals have higher chances to move past those obstacles. The likelihood of giving up is drastically higher if you do not have reasons behind your goals. If you have a goal to lose 20 lbs but lack reasons behind it, you will find it hard to achieve this goal. However, if you have a strong reason such as you want to lose 20 lbs in 3 months time because you want to look your best during your wedding ceremony, the likelihood of losing weight is much higher. When you have a compelling reason to support your goals, you drastically increase the possibility of achieving it. 3. Have a support group It is easy to give up when you are alone on this journey. Form a support or mastermind group to help you along the way. To form your own support group, find like-minded people who want to achieve similar goals. Keep your group small with only two to six people. You need to choose your members carefully. Choose members who are positive, goal oriented and are pursuing similar goals to yours. If you do not know where you can find your own support group, try out MeetUp.com or related forums to what you are doing (fitness forums, personal development forums etc). 4. They are particular about how they spend their time If you do not know how you spend your time, you will waste most of your time away. Time is one of our most precious resources. You can waste your money and still manage to earn it back but there isn’t any way for you to get back your time if you waste it away. You have to be aware of how you spent your time. If you want to achieve your goals but you are spending 70 percent of your time watching TV and hanging out with friends, most likely you will not reach your goals. Keep a time log. There are many mobile and web-based applications that can help you track where you are spending your time. Rescue Time is a great web-based app that can help you track what you are doing on the computer and how much time you spent on each different site. Use your preferred time log to get a clear picture of how you are spending your time and make the necessary adjustments. If you are serious about changing your life and achieving your goals, spend more time on the essential tasks instead of time wasters. 5. Try fast, fail fast, keep trying and never give up It is hard to hit the target with your first try. This is why winners try fast, fail fast, keep trying and never give up. There are many things that you don’t know how to do it and trial and error is one of the ways to help you pick up new stuff. You can learn faster by trying faster and failing more times in a shorter period. You learn at a slower pace when you are too slow to take action. When you take action to try fast, you will learn at a faster rate and know what things work and what don’t.
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Let’s say you’re feeling unmotivated, unsure of yourself, aimless, can’t find your passion, directionless, not clear on what your purpose in life is. You’re in good company — most people are in the same boat. Now, there about a million things online telling you how to find your passion in life, and that’s a good thing. It’s a search worth undergoing. I’m not going to give you a fool-proof method, or a 5-step method, nor share my passion manifesto with you today. I’m going to give you a one-step method. However, that one step is a doozy. Your personal bubble is the small world you live in (we all have one), where you are the center of the universe. You are concerned with your wellbeing, with not wanting to look bad, with succeeding in life, with your personal pleasure (good food, good music, good sex, etc.). This is the bubble we all live in most of the time, and people who say they don’t are trying to prove something. When someone tells you you look fat, this only hurts because you’re in your personal bubble. You take that statement (a colleague who says you look fat) and believe that it’s about you, and feel the pain or embarrassment of how the statement affects you. It matters a lot, because in your bubble, what matters most is how everything affects you personally. I’m the same way, and so is everyone else. Some other problems caused by this personal bubble: In our bubble, we’re concerned with our pleasure and comfort, and try not to be uncomfortable. This is why we don’t exercise, why we don’t only eat healthy food. This fear of being uncomfortable is also why we get anxious at the thought of meeting strangers. It hampers our social lives, our love lives. Because we don’t want to look bad, we are afraid of failing. So we don’t tackle tough things. We procrastinate because of this fear of failing, this fear of discomfort. When someone does or says something, we relate that event with how it affect us, and this can cause anger or pain or irritation. We expect people to try to give us what we want, and when they don’t, we get frustrated or angry. Actually, pretty much all our problems are caused by this bubble. Including the difficulty in finding our life purpose. But more on that in a minute — I ask for your patience here, because this is important.
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I apologize for the wrong character name in the video. Her name is Mel Robbins. I am sorry. I can not fix it! We think about what to do, what not to do, and what would be “best” for us and for everyone around us. But how often do we think about our thinking? When do we stop to question why we over-think, whether it’s productive, and how to overcome it? The first time a true bout of over-thinking grappled me was when I graduated from college. For many, this time comes as a quarter-life crisis, and the event often repeats itself later in life. It’s the time to decide what we will do with our lives, and what careers we will pursue. We want to make a true difference, help society, and live well. Although acquiring a comfortable desk job may be easier, it doesn’t have such a gripping appeal. And so begins a rare human trait that we would surely benefit from evolving out of: rumination. Sleepless nights came more regularly than I ever could have predicted. Confusion was my norm. Indecisiveness became expected. Uncertainty was my only certainty. Fortunately, however, I didn’t drive myself nuts (or so I believe). Underlying the distress was an organic curiosity, and this led me to question my approach. What I came to learn truly changed my life. I managed to collate a number of strategies for effectively reducing over-thinking. Below are some of my favorite simple and easy-to-implement insights and strategies:
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This Law of Attraction Pearl of Wisdom explores the critical role that your beliefs play in steering your manifestations. Anything that effects your thinking effects your life. And nothing else effects your thinking more than your beliefs. The problem is that they are largely unconscious and often sabotaging your success. Here's how to master your beliefs and hence the results showing up in your life. What Are Beliefs? Beliefs are your thoughts about how life is, or should be, or could be, codified into rules — rules that filter and shape your thinking about what is possible. The main problem is that over time they turn into automatic rules that operate sub-consciously. Which means you become completely unaware of them, yet they still guide your thoughts and actions — much like being on auto-pilot. The Origin of Your Beliefs So how do we get our beliefs? Where do they come from? Some of them you created yourself based on your experiences and observations of the world. They started out just as working assumptions about how parts of the world are, but over time they became hardened expectations which act like a lens and filter thru which you view and interpret the world. The initial experiences that birth a belief I call "seed experiences" and I'll talk more about them and their role in the self-reinforcing nature of beliefs later in this article. Although we do create SOME of our beliefs ourselves, many we simply adopt from others or are impressed upon us, by society. We all absorb our culture's norms, but we often forget to question whether these are serving us — or limiting us. The truth is, many of the beliefs that we adopt are disempowering and counterproductive, and we don't even know it.
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