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Style Therapy: The Problem with Polished

1653 ratings | 63690 views
#1 request I get from clients when it comes to their personal style? "I want to look polished and put together." That sounds all fine and good but what does looking "polished" really mean and is this really a look that's attainable? Find out in today's video. What I'm Wearing: Top, ATM Pants, Stella McCartney Necklace, Dolce and Gabanna Shoes, Christian Louboutin Style Freebies: Ultimate Wardrobe Checklist for Women: http://laurenmessiah.com/ultimate-wardrobe-checklist  ‘How To Dress Right For Your Body Type’ :  http://laurenmessiah.com/body-type-ebook  SUBSCRIBE for pro fashion tips, insider trends and new videos: http://bit.ly/1N7xVjn Connect with me on social media: Visit the Lauren Messiah WEBSITE: http://bit.ly/1wCjCxF Like me on FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/LaurenMessiah Follow me on TWITTER: http://bit.ly/1Tm2ruM Follow me on INSTAGRAM: http://bit.ly/1L4iGZ4 Follow me on PINTEREST: http://bit.ly/1WfU0Ah About me: I am a fashion expert, on-camera talent and a premiere personal fashion stylist in Los Angeles. I believe that style is for everyone. I work to educate and empower women through my daily dose of fashion advice, shopping guides and styling tips. Style Therapy: The Problem with Polished http://www.youtube.com/user/StylistLaurenMessiah
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Text Comments (130)
Pap Pyone (4 days ago)
Thank you Lauren for talking about self care and just not being lazy. Not that I’m not sometimes lazy! Lol! But Has no one seen people trying to get the perfect picture for their IG or Facebook account? They take pictures in different ridiculous poses for a half hour. It’s comical. That is the image they want to portray, but whoever saw them trying so hard to get the picture knows that it was not their real self. Just make sure your clothes fit well, your hair and makeup dont look like you just rolled out of bed, you have some pretty jewelry on amd you’re done. that is real life and perfectly polished.
RR Yase (10 days ago)
I guess this video wasn't for me because the polished look I'm going for I see On living breathing people walking into my work every week. They look sharp, clean, outfit on point, and effortless. There's no guarantee the pristine they emanate comes from deep inside, but it sure looks like it does! Not high class, money or trend, just straight solid class.
creatrixZBD (13 days ago)
it's quite sad that we can't separate marketing from reality.
AW 08 (2 months ago)
There is a gorgeous trend on Pinterest for fall where the outfit is monochrome blackout and then the model wears a camel colored wool trench coat overtop. It looks stunning with the black silhouette...but the reality is, once you go indoors, that coat comes off. And then you are left with a very boring black outfit.
Saraya N. (2 months ago)
Hi Lauren, can we please see your entire outfit in the videos. Can we get a full shot and then a close in and then half short. We tune in to see what you are wearing
Charchar Gabor (3 months ago)
Omg I say this alllllllll the time 'i want to look polished' lol!
Gabriella Lopez (3 months ago)
I get it! When I first saw this video I was like Hmm we should all look polished, there shouldn't be a problem with it. I now understand that the problem isn't the style, it's the expectations of what that means. In my head, I see polished as looking presentable, which you described.
Lynn Mazalewski (3 months ago)
i think ur best hair style ever its you and make ur features look their best which is attractive, and a sharp looking girl who knows her stuff
Indira Dahan (3 months ago)
I'm just happy to get my clothes on BEFORE I leave the house lol.
Toni Brown (3 months ago)
super helpful points in this video - thanks so much! Often I feel 'polished' because of how I'm feeling internally (attitude); but what you said about a necklace, or your make-up on point - yes, that does amp it up.
Darina Angelova (3 months ago)
As the French say, "perfect" is the enemy of "good"...
Darina Angelova (3 months ago)
Preach!
Victoria Muir (3 months ago)
I’m guessing you no longer wear that blouse. It makes your head look super tiny and your shoulders huge. You are usually spot on, lovely lady.
truthtoknow (3 months ago)
Yes. Polished typically just means 'way better than the other women'.
Alice Alice (3 months ago)
To me polished means to look clean and fresh, period.
seattlegrrlie (4 months ago)
You aren't going to be airbrushed with perfect lighting all the time. You aren't followed by an entourage like the ladies in the red carpet. Just put your outfit together, make sure your lipstick isn't on your teeth, and remove the cat hair before going out
Dolsie M (4 months ago)
Got it.
Dragon Ball (4 months ago)
You overdoing your ear and neck...simple but beautiful is great
ashsqx324 (4 months ago)
she is slow....
Margarita P. Narenpithak (4 months ago)
This made me subscribe. I also would like to add that you don’t need to break the bank to look good. You don’t need to have Chanel, Prada, Valentino to look put together or impressive. Any nicely made and decent quality clothes will do.
Alicia Guerra-Salazar (4 months ago)
I think that shoes and your bag is the main point. You can bring some simple jeans and a white blouse, but with some beautiful sandals or skilletos, but with high heels, it makes a lot of difference. Also a scarf, are things that you do not take away, also jewelry accessories. I consider that the personality of the person says a lot
SeasonedDiva #1 (6 months ago)
LOL!! Lauren, your PSU really works!!! Maybe a little too well, haaa!!!!! TFS!!
Estrella Oliva (6 months ago)
Love,love your videos but,wish you would illustrate pictures.
dominique007 (7 months ago)
I think when people say that theyre referring to the look of well cut and tailored clothes for their body.
C S (7 months ago)
So so TRUE! Why women aspire to look like the Kardashians 24/7 is a media driven unrealistic concept that doesn’t reflect real women’s lives at all. Instagram and Pinterest are JUST PHOTOS! Pretty snapshots of someone’s outfit, doesn’t show cleaning up baby poop or fixing a blocked sink!! Thanks for this wonderfully refreshing video. 🛠🔩🛀📸😂🤣
In other words they want to look like a picture.
vict oria (7 months ago)
You look like amber rose
anastasia46 (7 months ago)
omg blah blah blah can you get to the point ??????
Pretty Prudent (7 months ago)
Must be nice to live in a place where you don’t have to breathe in cigarette poison daily.
Christina Benson (7 months ago)
Wow, this is exactly what I needed to hear, thanks for the awesome style and life advice! 💜
Wendi Eckstein (7 months ago)
Great info Lauren! I haven't watched your vlogs for a while. I love your hair cut and point of view. Thank you!!!
Youssra Tidar (7 months ago)
Very true, thank u
Jada Jackson (7 months ago)
Thank you so much for this video Lauren! I'm getting my personal style together and this really helped me think realistically. Love all of your video! ~Jada
Yellow Cat (7 months ago)
Off topic but you really favour Kelis. ☺️
Marianne Renaud (7 months ago)
As someone who grew up counting my pennies, I have focused on "the clothes" more than the items that finish an outfit. Mainly because I didn't have the cash for the extras. Now I focus on the little things that finish an outfit. The cool earrings, the necklace and the sunglasses! It really is the little things... Love the new hair Lauren
cubanjavonne (7 months ago)
Girlll! You are so keeping it real! I love it; we need to get back in touch with reality🖤🖤
Great message. Thank you
Rebecca Day (7 months ago)
Are you in Atlanta?
Better Life Broadcasting (7 months ago)
Polished, for me , is a moment, not an all day thing. What I have on in the moment that I step out usually is polished, but by the end of the day those super-cool earring had to go 30 minutes into the phone call that lasted an hour, and the gorgeous blazer (or pretty fluttery blouse got abandoned or amended with a sweater when the demon that controls the AC at my office lost it's mind.
Earthtraveler (7 months ago)
Hello Lauren, I came upon your video on "The Problem with Polished". I too have asked that question to myself many times and I believe to have found the answer to that question. Now, many people can be "Put together and Polished" even if they put on a sack of potatoes as a fashion trend. I'm not going against your word on having others get accessories, shoes or anything else for that matter, but anyone that has this one particular "gift" can be acquired to be "Put together and Polished" (PT & P). Bear with me, because this is how I found out what was needed to be "PT & P". As I was resting on an outside seat at the mall, near an upscale department store, I started to people watch. Many types came and went dressed as they thought would be appropriate, as this particular woman with long brown hair went inside the department store in a bikini bra with the torn jeans look and stilettos. Other people who saw her, were commenting on how horribly dressed she was etc, etc. which those comments will not appear here on your vlog comments. One huge difference that I noticed on the bikini bra lady that I couldn't see in many others was that she was in many ways "Pt & P". What was it? She had "Poise and confidence". That, made her standout more than her way of dress. So, in my humble opinion, poise and confidence, have to do so much in making a person be "Put together and Polished". The bikini lady was "PT & P" in so many ways, and I believe that if she went in with a towel wrapped around her, she would make the towel standout reeking in Polished. Many people don't care or don't know what it is to be poised. Those that do, have the advantage. So, next time you see a person all put together and polished, check out their poise. P.s. I'm now a new subscriber to your channel.
Sylvia Smith (7 months ago)
We as women tend to dress for other women's approval and not for ourselves or even our mates,we do not wear outfits that we like and feel comfortable in,once we get past this notion we will not care what others think and be happier and not full of anxiety.Great Vid.!,,
hipretty (7 months ago)
Great video! Where did you get that amazing Hermès sign? ❤️
Shalom Alcheim (7 months ago)
I love the Hermes painting behind you. 💜 Where did you get it?
Tiff H. (7 months ago)
So true! Awesome video💕
NicNacAttack (7 months ago)
After editing and such these days in videos and photos, you make a great point. Perfection does not exist. I'm convinced that several women have that mental condition where they see something different in the mirror, myself included. Let's go a lil easier on ourselves. Thanks to the media, many are disillusioned as to what a woman looks like. It's tougher to be a woman in 2018. Standards of beauty are increasing as my tolerance for it is decreasing 😂
Davene Jonas Blake (7 months ago)
Love the hair cut, really dope.
veronicajade20 (7 months ago)
Great video! Internet images on IG and Pinterest are often _staged_ and _not real._
Steph G (7 months ago)
I can't get over how much Lauren Messiah and Vani Hari (The Food Babe) resemble each other. Uncanny.
Agnes Laufer (8 months ago)
Im french we are NOT polished
B. Walker (8 months ago)
I think "polished and put together" can be defined in numbers...the number of articles. Those looks are just as you explained layers of pieces. Just like in great interior design when you see a grouping of 3 or 5 it looks better more balance than having just one. So in our minds eye, when you begin to remove those elements, or in this example numbers you may feel lacking in what remains. We need to focus on the base or basics and appreciate those elements for getting us to the greater finished product which is polished one. Every one element is as important as the last. : ) Really appreciated your expression of frustration in hopes of getting the point across. Well done! I got it! Mastering the sleeve roll, or the shirt tuck, or use of one accessory, can speak a lot in only one number, however. We need to be as comfortable in one piece as we are in 5. After all, Five easy pieces is just a movie title. : )
Anduresh82 (8 months ago)
Great video and so true!! Thanks for the perspective! YOU ROCK👍👍👍💯
Sherry Hudson (8 months ago)
Love your hair. You are so beautiful. Have to say tho, that oversized top does you no favors. You are so much better than that
Pamela Cardelli (8 months ago)
Lauren... absolutely natural b creative b beautiful b you
Latoya Brownlee (8 months ago)
Yes!! Hahaha “Because I’m a real human...” lol I love this!
Linda Esquibel (8 months ago)
My name is Linda E I'm so happy I found you. I love your opinion on looking polished. I try my best, my problem is I have to walk with a cane I am now 63 had a bad surgery. in 2010. So I put a cute scarf on my cane. I need some ideas on looking casual nice Style. Also I don't use a computer. I don't mean to sound terrible about asking but I love to get free things how do I do that ? Thank you looking forward to seeing more of your tutorials
Carmen A. G. (8 months ago)
Totally agree with you. I think it’s better to feel confortable with what you wear
Elizabeth Boccio (8 months ago)
Spot on!!
A Clutter-Free Life (8 months ago)
Respect! To find a video like this so real has earned my admiration ! You've got a new subscriber
Stacie Luvv (8 months ago)
Thank you Lauren! I love your vids. New subscriber here!!
PN Craft (8 months ago)
Im i the only one who hates the polished look : D
LoveBran (8 months ago)
Thank you Lauren! ❤️ This definitely hit home.
Beiges Lifestyle (8 months ago)
I got it... KELIS! I think longer hair is a better look. Shorter ages you too much. Great video.
Doreen Dunham (8 months ago)
Finally I found a classy channel. I am extremely tired of looking for plus size fashion and tips, only finding streetwear and kind of sleazy outfit and bad advise. HUGE Thank you.
lala foster (8 months ago)
Very off putting. I couldn't imagine people would want to work with you based on how you come across in your videos. I'm sure you are very lovely in person.
Kelsey Roe (8 months ago)
You made some really good points, but it would have been more helpful if you also gave us a few tips on how to add polish to an outfit other than just adding a coat.
Laura Hills (8 months ago)
I know what you mean, Lauren. I love the way I look with a coat or jacket draped over my shoulders. But that's not practical all the time. Sometimes I need to wear the coat because it's freezing outside. And sometimes, I need to be able to lift my arms without a draped coat falling off my shoulders.
Chavanna Chanel (8 months ago)
Love your new hair. 🙌🏾🤗
Lauren Messiah (8 months ago)
Thank you :)
Rosa (8 months ago)
thank you so much LAUREN...
Rosa (8 months ago)
you look so beautiful and super super feminine....
Melonie Cade (8 months ago)
That message NEEDED to be said. Thank you.
Fuzzy TURK (8 months ago)
Basically we are all programmed to constantly look like a walking Instagram image, like you said it’s not reality
Dominique L (8 months ago)
Love this
xrcrx ftfghjg (8 months ago)
bottom line Don't worry what other people think.
C RD (8 months ago)
Lauren, no offense but you’re dressing old and your style needs updating. Also, your new haircut is aging. I think you have a good direction for your videos, but it needs work. I think that’s why the viewership is still struggling.
Doll Faced Beauty (6 months ago)
She looks classy & professional! Maybe you need glasses? Or perhaps you’ve been brainwashed by Fashion Nova ads and trashy cheap clothes from Forever 21?
Davida Singleton (7 months ago)
Claire Kurdelak I literally was thinking the same thing!! ANYTIME you have to give a DISCLAIMER know that's how it will be taken!! It's like saying you look amazing BUT!!!
Lynn Williams (7 months ago)
C.RD. That unkind comment says a lot about you.
Stacie Luvv (8 months ago)
She looks amazing, what are you talking about?? Would you rather her look like she jumped off a fashion nova website or forever 21?! Get the hell out of here. She’s a grown, professional woman with class. Get you some.
Claire Kurdelak (8 months ago)
C RD If you feel the need to say "no offense" before your feedback, that is a big, huge clue that what you are about to say is offensive. FYI.
Aide Zamarron (8 months ago)
Wow, that is super true! ☺ I always think I don't look "polished" because my hair is curly and I can never deal with it. what that means, is that I can't stand it on my face after about 2 hrs and I pull it up and hold it with a pen, baby hairs coming out from everywhere. 😳 the other thing are my shoes. I can't never use nice feminine shoes. I always have bulky...steel toe shoes, because of work...with dress pants.
MissTickle East (8 months ago)
Aide Zamarron me too! 😂😘
Mirabelle M. (8 months ago)
I’ve loved your videos for so long and I know exactly what you mean!!! This is so useful
Val Elliott (8 months ago)
I like this a lot. Your point about hair and make up is on point.
Rachel Moore (8 months ago)
Love xx
belladree (8 months ago)
I think your clients may not be happy with the outfit that is under their coats, they should look and feel polished when they take that coat off as that is the real outfit.
Shawna Barnes (8 months ago)
Yesssss “friend in my head”! I can’t wait for the miniseries videos.
Lauren Messiah (8 months ago)
:)
Rae Green (8 months ago)
have you read brené brown's book on shame? you just completely dissected it.
Lauren Messiah (8 months ago)
i haven't! *runs to amazon*
Susan Schafer (8 months ago)
Amen.
D Thomas (8 months ago)
This reminds me of a book called The Happiness Effect. It's all about how people are killing themselves trying to look happy on Facebook but it's really making them miserable
Lauren Messiah (8 months ago)
Oooh I've gotta check that out! Thanks
Tiffanie McMillan (8 months ago)
Love your tough love talks. Lol
Liza Soliman (8 months ago)
so excited for pinterest vs real life! more therapy videos too! my problem with polished is feeling too nice for the neighborhood i'm in, but when i get to the city i'm on par(-ish). how should one be polished without getting jumped?
Jada Jackson (7 months ago)
Girl yess I feel the same!
Victoria Ring (8 months ago)
So on point! Women put such emphasis on looks etc.
Kimberly Ford (8 months ago)
LOL @ rolling in nickels...
Brandy Colmer (8 months ago)
Preach! Thanks for this! Great video! I’m loving your new hair, and where you’re going with your content these days! Mwah!
Lauren Messiah (8 months ago)
Thank you so much for the compliment :)
Nicole Walcott (8 months ago)
Can someone look polished in their PJs? I'll say yes because its how you feel ,how you portray yourself, its an inner thing be free and take control, be real ,be you......
Ana Hewett (8 months ago)
Thank you Lauren for this video. Women need to understand it's wonderful to love real life, not fake life on pictures, movies nor magazines. Real life, the one you can really enjoy is yourself! !!
Jay Kay (8 months ago)
Thank you for this video Lauren. You always have something profound to say about fashion!!!
Kary (8 months ago)
Pinterest life vs real life 😩😍😍😍😍 omg perfect❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Dana A Little Bit (8 months ago)
You're terrific!
mintsaturn (8 months ago)
Love this video. We need to remember how many stylists it takes to make an image. We live in the real world, not a magazine or pinterest/instagram. 💚💙💜
Inner Wilderness (8 months ago)
Thanks - and so reassuring. Hope that I can keep this in mind.
Mara R (8 months ago)
Thank you for this video, I get so stressed and anxious because I don’t feel perfect like the girls on Pinterest, I have to realise I’m human 🤗
eizhowa (8 months ago)
I just want to be Meghan Markle.
craz4jaymz (1 month ago)
+Jenni-Lee Silver i agree. She's beautiful and thin so she can get away with not-so-great clothes.
Jenni-Lee Silver (3 months ago)
Meghan Markle has the crappiest style sense I've seen in a while... No hate. Her clothes seem to be too big and ill-fitting, her shoes are too high for her so she seems to buckle around a lot (she claims there's a reason she wears too big shoes but it's nonsense). Even hee wedding dress wasn't taylored to her body. Nah, I'll skip her style completely.
Rod Williams (7 months ago)
Elizabeth Jones so true
Elizabeth Jones (7 months ago)
She’s beautiful but this is where women mess up....trying to live up to another woman’s standards. Instead, BE YOUR OWN KIND OF BEAUTIFUL!
hipretty (7 months ago)
We all do!!! ☺️
Juliana Berçot (8 months ago)
Thank you Lauren!!!!
The Lauralinda Channel (8 months ago)
The "Perfectionism Gene..." Girl! You are so tapped into the thoughts and feelings so many of us are going through. I'm takin' my unfashionable butt to Style University! Thanks, Lauren!
Najla Yasmeen Ati (8 months ago)
Thanks Lauren! I deal with the polished dilemma. My sister says I always look put together, however I find myself putting pressure on myself to look editorial. Life is not a magazine shoot or Instagram feed. I think my background in fashion industry has a lot to play on that pressure. The funny thing is I don’t do it to others, I’m just hard on my on image and how I project my style. Thanks for another wonderful motivational video 😊

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