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Anti-Style Type: Like-Me-For-Me Mary

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Welcome to the Anti-Style types series! In this series I am breaking down BAD fashion and sharing actionable tips on how to correct these simple styling mistakes. In today's video, we are breaking down "Like Me For Me Mary." Mary is above this whole “fashion” thing. She wears whatever she wants (no matter how tattered, ugly, off-putting, and inappropriate it is) and expects you to embrace her regardless. She wants no part of the appearance game, yet wonders why she isn’t where she wants to be in her life. What I'm Wearing: Sweater, Victoria Beckham Skirt, Topshop Boots, Jimmy Choo Services: Virtual Styling - https://laurenmessiah.com/shop/ Personal Style University- https://laurenmessiah.com/personal-style-university/ Buy Lauren’s Book- https://laurenmessiah.com/product/the... Style Freebies: Ultimate Wardrobe Checklist for Women: http://laurenmessiah.com/ultimate-wardrobe-checklist  ‘How To Dress Right For Your Body Type’ :  http://laurenmessiah.com/body-type-ebook  SUBSCRIBE for pro fashion tips, insider trends and new videos: http://bit.ly/1N7xVjn Connect with me on social media: Visit the Lauren Messiah WEBSITE: http://bit.ly/1wCjCxF Like me on FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/LaurenMessiah Follow me on TWITTER: http://bit.ly/1Tm2ruM Follow me on INSTAGRAM: http://bit.ly/1L4iGZ4 Follow me on PINTEREST: http://bit.ly/1WfU0Ah About me: I am a fashion expert, on-camera talent and a premiere personal fashion stylist in Los Angeles. I believe that style is for everyone. I work to educate and empower women through my daily dose of fashion advice, shopping guides and styling tips. Anti-Style Type: Like Me For Me Mary http://www.youtube.com/user/StylistLaurenMessiah
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Text Comments (125)
Rickyticky Bobbywobbin (4 months ago)
I love your face when you say "sensitive sallys"!
Kay Huddleston (6 months ago)
Please leggings go away and super skinny die!!!
Kay Huddleston (6 months ago)
Totally agree have a frumpy Fretia she is just black Ortho tennis shoes and long plain skirts she is a like me for me. She's beautiful but Frump.
Cadence Haase (6 months ago)
Awesome video omg. I am awestruck
Darina Angelova (6 months ago)
Belen Ladaga (7 months ago)
This is the damn real thing. You go, Lauren.
Amanda Baias (7 months ago)
I like how raw and no bull you are. You certainly changed my view of the world. Thank you!!!
Samantha Peters (7 months ago)
Why do Americans wear big earrings? An American came to my country and she said "why do you all wear stud earrings?" I said "they're light, and don't get caught in things."
SimplyKatexo (7 months ago)
People should like you for your personality your sending out the wrong to young girls
E A (1 month ago)
Maybe you should do a video . It seems like this one is not your favorite.
Eimy Fernandez (7 months ago)
I love your honesty! I just stumbled across your channel and thank god for it. Thank you for all your great advice ✨🙏🏻
Paolina Miranda (7 months ago)
I wish there was an option to love this video. I was a little hestitant because I assumed this was a style “shaming” video, but this is not that at all! I appreciate your sense of humor throughout and then shit got real and you talked about the psyche of style and it clicked. Please keep up the awesome content!
JoeyL ,! (8 months ago)
Basically, by style choices, Mary is lying about herself. People who might like who she really is, pass her up while those attracted to her external image are disappointed.
I dress up always, people sometimes call me 'extra' but I prefer to look neat and stylish. People judge you by how you dress and make up their minds about you before you open your mouth.
I'm giving a shot to fashion lately. I don't think it elevates me intellectually or socially, I think it misleads people, makes me look dumb, and might associate me with the wrong people but that's ok because I turn away from people all the time because none of them matter. I just want high IQ people to contribute to my knowledge, sloppy mad geniuses are my thing. Boring bare faced people are the best because they are vulnerable and honest about their flaws. I've returned to the sociopath life so I can disguise myself now
Ana Garcia (9 months ago)
Love this video!
ainhoa aparicio (9 months ago)
I do enjoy but you are not helpful. ;-)
Bethany (9 months ago)
I just love your attitude in these vids! So refreshing and funny. I did some soul searching recently to try to work out why I had never been satisfied with my style, and why I always failed to look sophistated and sharp. I noticed that having no full time job made me feel inadequate and childish and therefore unworthy of wearing anything formal or even fitted!! Once I realised that I had every right to look polished and put together, I started to nail it 😉 Clothes really can have such an effect on our lives!
Alexis Glover (9 months ago)
I love you! "Unicorns with sacks of money"! "Hurting my eyes"! I can't! 😂😂😂
Solveig Ilhea P. (10 months ago)
boy, you really don't like blake lively and amy schumer :D Great video!
dominique007 (10 months ago)
I love this video
vickie g (10 months ago)
i'm broke and hate my body how tf am i supposed to dress well
Bayo106 (7 months ago)
vickie g change your body
1237 (10 months ago)
I had an abusive mother. My style gives me the sense of freedom. I don't really think that it's a bad thing and that I'm really hurting anyone so much that I should not do things that I like. For me doing crazy things with my style has helped me a lot to gain confidence and independence instead of doing everything according my mother's opinion. I think that a "bad" and "ugly" style is still a style. After all the past shapes us in a certain way. I know that people judge me for having oversized funny t-shirts and green hair. First impression indeed is having a big impact on people. I still think that people should learn to see beyond their first impressions as we can have great stories to tell. Sure not having a presentable style can turn many people away but maybe I'm only interested in the ones that doesn't. I think the most important thing is to have fun with your style, even if it turns people away.
lilipurr (8 months ago)
1237 remember this is just her opinion. If you are comfortable with your style and yes it is a style...your personal style... then rock it. I find that “alternative” styles are usually looked down upon if they aren’t cute/ conventional looking. Don’t let it phase you.
Diabla ! (10 months ago)
¡¡No se puede ser tan caretaaaa!!
WithMetta (10 months ago)
The problem is you use very successful women as your what-not-to-do. I think Amy Schumer, for instance, is doing just fine and people actually do like her for herself. Also Ellen and Portia and others whom I have forgotten. Is this really the message you intend to send to other women?
Cara D (10 months ago)
I like your honesty.
Elle Elle (10 months ago)
I am SOOO one of these people! Oh gosh I need help 😢😱😂
Caitlin C-R (10 months ago)
Has anyone ever said you look like Molly Ringwald? Because you do a bit, and you sound similar too
noelle 555 (10 months ago)
I really like your videos. I have winced a few times at what you say but I know why you're doing it. Your honesty is refreshing. Thank you.
goldlionxx (10 months ago)
This is my mom! She wears the worst outfits but then gripes about wishing she could wear what she truly wants. I want to tell her she can only get better compared to what she is currently wearing. It's v. frustrating.
Konnichi-Nya (11 months ago)
oof more like "Lose-the-bitchy-elitism Lauren" ; ) Elitism doesn't look cute on anyone. Maybe my girl Mary is secure in her career and relationships and just wanna wear some comfy shit. Maybe it's laundry day. Mary doesn't owe it to anyone to be a fashion paragon. Clap BACK, Mary!
RAY y (11 months ago)
Lool thats me...I really don't care about what people think. Clothes I love make me feel beautiful. Including old destroyed t shirts. I used to pair them with high waisted diy skirts..I can't wait to go back to wearing those instead of my spitup stained booby flashing longsleeves (cause no time to shave armpits and needing fast boob access)
Steph Eff (11 months ago)
Very well said! .. i think important to note is that Mary also judges people for how they dress! everyone does.. including her
endless nameless (11 months ago)
I get that some people don’t dress as nice as you. But you come across as a really bitchy, snobby fashion whore. Why are you so consumed with people’s outfits? No one is hurting you, so why do you care so much. Your channel so far seems like a community where rich, insecure people can bash others.
Nicodemus (11 months ago)
I don't get why people choose to watch style videos when they have no style, know the subject is roasting their style, & claim that they don't care about what you have to say but are clearly upset. Like... You didn't HAVE to watch the fashion advice video from the personal stylist... What were you expecting? Ms. Messiah to quit her job & tell everyone that just because they don't care, nobody else should? If you don't CARE about style, fine. But if you're watching a video like this, chances are you want a change, or are at least curious about fashion. Don't be a Sensitive Sally, y'all.
Kris Door (7 months ago)
Nicodemus z😕😖😖
yensid (11 months ago)
I can relate to the being teased thing & having an aversion to something later. As a child I was forced to wear white orthopedic hard leather saddle shoes to correct my walking with "pigeon toes." I was teased about wearing "baby shoes" & hated having to wear them to school. Fast forward to the 80s when white high top athletic shoes were all the rage & I refused to wear them. I only wore black ones. I told my boyfriend at the time about the whole "baby shoes" thing & he actually drew stripes on his white Adidas high tops because he thought they did look like baby shoes lol. I totally got to him too. As women/girls we get so many messages & opinions thrown at us about our bodies & how we *should* look, feel,act & dress that it's no wonder we lose track of what truly makes us authentically happy & fullfilled, nevermind what actually looks good & suits our lifestyle as individuals.
Sharleen Peaches (11 months ago)
I have to watch all these series again after I this pregnancy so I don’t let myself go. After my first baby I was in workout out gear for months because I didn’t feel comfortable with my body.
Laura g (11 months ago)
I might be a sensitive Sally, but the main message I've got from that video is that people like you for your fashion tastes and for your looks. That's kinda sad imo. I thought 2018 was about supporting each other and feeling good about yourself. People should wear what they want and what they feel good in, but that's just my opinion.
No, the message is that people like you for who you are on the inside, but they *will* make an initial judgement based on how you visually present yourself. It happens in the first few seconds; research has shown this time and time again. No one can help it. You can choose to ignore this reality, or you can make an effort to use it to your advantage.
Ann Otter (6 months ago)
Not entirely, she said to first attract people to get to know the real you. I can't see someone's good heart from across the room! If someone looks like they just rolled out of bed at 1pm, I don't go out of my way to talk to them because even if I like them as a person they are probably a flakey mess. I don't got time for a flakey mess friend.
Duct_Tape Heart (7 months ago)
Laura g "Should" and "Do" are different. In a dream world, people look at your heart, but this is 2018. Superficiality is our reality.
Bayo106 (7 months ago)
Laura g it's not sad it's the truth. People look down on you subconsciousmy if you are dressed bad
Élisabeth Siadous (9 months ago)
Laura g ikll
moneystrb22 (11 months ago)
This girl just reinforces stereotyping, judgement and cruelty. There needs to be an underlying comedy for this to work and it just comes across as the mean girl at the middle school lunch table. I keep trying to enjoy these videos because the concepts are there, but the viciousness keeps taking me out of it.
Comes across as much needed honesty to me.
OJJL (7 months ago)
Then stop being human and find a different species to integrate that doesn't judge each other and that aren't naturally built to build assumptions based on survival and mating instincts. Good luck.
rockabillymuffin (11 months ago)
How heteronormative and sexist, ableist and classist of you :D wow. Your poor clients, I hope they have enough confidence to know that they are enough, that fashion will never satisfy everyone you meet so wear what you want and what is appropriate for your job and what you're comfy in. Don't listen to these condescending people telling you you are too stupid to know whats good for you. You are enough. ♥
Claire (11 months ago)
Oh, I thought these would be about embracing these styles.
Jarrett Family (11 months ago)
Omfg 😂😂 say it how it is girl 😂😂🙌🏻🙌🏻
snowpuffxx (11 months ago)
BRB wishing for unicorns 😂😂😂😩😩😩 I'm so glad you're around to give me intermittent reality checks haha
bip (11 months ago)
I like her jumper in this video it is gorgeous 😃
Beryl Walubengo (11 months ago)
I love you Lauren! Amazing!
Sylvia Mann (1 year ago)
Marys need to realize they aren't going to get ahead in their careers with that attitude about appearance. You're not just representing yourself, you're representing the company. In general, most "don't care about style/fashion" because they either don't have the money or the ability to style themselves so they put on a "I don't give a fuck". This series is pure gold.
Rachel Moore (1 year ago)
I Love you!!!
megg9929 (1 year ago)
This is my favorite of this series. I do a class with soon to graduate surgical techs where I explain to them how they need to dress/ act during interviews and at work. I tell them they have to follow the golden rule... he with the gold makes the rules... in other words- if you do not present yourself prperly, they will figure out a reason NOT to hire you....
Working Look (1 year ago)
Yes - LOVE deconstructing how limiting beliefs are expressed in our clothing! Also - LOVE the earrings!
Quinn Terry (1 year ago)
Lmao! Unicorns...bags of money! I fell OUT!!
Claire Kurdelak (1 year ago)
The important thing here, i think, is, maybe people "shouldn't" judge by first impressions, but it doesnt matter! It's how our brains work, trying to make sense of the world. It's subconscious, and is not going to change. You are really serving people when you urge them to take ownership of the message they are sending! Good job again.
SeasonedDiva #1 (1 year ago)
So so true!!!
I think when it comes to hair and makeup I put it in the "too hard basket" (or I lacked time to deal with it!) and opt for a take me for me approach to pretend it doesn't matter, when it does! Completely ruins any effort I put into my outfit! It was the same when I was working long hours in corporate life, and now with two children it feels difficult to dedicate the time. Hats off to anyone who can pull it all together all the time. I'm just trying for a nurturing, consistent skincare routine and decently-presented, flattering clothes at present.
Laura Nadel (11 months ago)
Im all about that with the hair (makeup I can do). I was always pushing hair aside because it takes too long, now Im a mother I have even less time! But I have absolutely come to realize if you don't do at least the hair (skip makeup) it totally ruins your overall appearance.
Anna Rehbinder (1 year ago)
Love you Lauren for doing this and more importantly explaining the more deep seated stuff because at least for me this series have actually helped me like myself better , as ive understod why I do stuff and to let loose ! My husband said something yeasterday When I asked him about how ive deloped these years We have been together and he said you have become more you and I really like it . Its so cool ,you fight for it and you make me want to do it with you . So Thank you Lauren for providing even more pieces of the puzzle which i felt was wrong , but couldnt put My finger on . ( My mom wanted a sweet girl , in english schoolgirl dresses and a pink ruffled skirt who liked handicrafts and liked to play with Barbie Dolls , that aint me but I still miss her a lot)
Tina G (1 year ago)
"Your hurting all of our feelings... And you hurting my eyes."
Pink Pepper (1 year ago)
Sensitive Sallys, Annoying Annas and Whiney Whitneys.
Jac Nella (1 year ago)
Loving all the truth bombs you've been dropping in this series. Finally... someone talking sense!
Heather P (1 year ago)
One more in the anti style series?!! No! Say it isnt so, Lauren!!!
Heather P (1 year ago)
Preach girl, preach! Jezuz take the wheel! Love LM!
purplegal05 (1 year ago)
What happens if I am all of the anti-style types rolled into one? :-/
Daniela Ayers (11 months ago)
purplegal05 It means you are awesome 😘
T Floyd (1 year ago)
I like that you suggest that Mary do a little inner questioning. I don't think Mary realizes that her 'inner you' really is showing. When the t-shirt says 'my dog ate my brain': it is clear she has a sense of humor AND is an intellectual snob. When the shorts are so tight, she can't sit down: that person is too big for her britches AND has an attitude. If the clothes are too dirty: I wonder if her thoughts are keeping her from caring for herself (maybe emotionally or mentally homeless?) It takes dedication to display a style for longer than a selfie. It takes courage to display our 'best self' (our loyalty, our truth, our curiosity, our nurturing, our humor, our joy, our innocence, our knowledge), when others are looking. The nice thing is, our best self is always evolving and willing to bring us a rich set of life experiences. So our style can change, as we learn more about ourselves. 😊
SimplyKatexo (1 year ago)
so are you saying you only base who you like on what they wear
SimplyKatexo (7 months ago)
What does well mean though everyone has their own style and just cause you don’t like it doesn’t mean that everyone doesn’t like it
Bayo106 (7 months ago)
SimplyKatexo no but decent people present themselves well
SimplyKatexo (1 year ago)
yeah but how is this supposed to make you feel good
April Grow (1 year ago)
Dear Lauren. I love you. I love your combo of snark, humor, and expertise. People are only offended when it strikes an inner chord. If like me for me Mary was truly confident in her approach, your video wouldn't upset her at all. It's because you speak a truth about something they are already bothered by. I'm 5'6", and if someone tried to insult me about being short, I'd look at them like they had 3 heads, bc I'm not short. If they made fun of something I'm insecure about, I would be really defensive.
Kary (1 year ago)
Love your Videos
Brittney J (1 year ago)
This is one of my favorites thus far. Lauren thank you for your honesty. Everything your saying is true. I was a like me for me Mary for a couple of years ago b/c of financial difficulty. I’m so glad invest into more pieces I love & make me look my best! I’m continuing to get my act together at the age of 30! Again thank you for your insights.🙃
Verónica Sánchez (1 year ago)
I personally love your sense of humor! 😂😂
Sindilanaamo Arkian (1 year ago)
oh, I know one such Mary, and her name is really Mary... she wouldn't wear this and that and when I said "you need more modern clothes in your wardrobe" she was like "I don't follow fashion, I am not a fashion person..." some deep trauma here, but I just couldn't work with her anymore... I guess I was just inexperienced at that time, now I'll know what to look for. Thanks Lauren!
hannah*hazel (1 year ago)
Wow, Lauren, this is me. I looked inside and realized it’s because of money guilt. I feel irresponsible spending the cash on my clothes. Thanks for giving me something to think about.
Micaela Wedge (1 year ago)
Used to be me! I have a friend who thinks this way. I've tried to explain...he doesn't get it. I'm sending him this video.
True! Of course, from the long term horizon, people are going to like or dislike you for YOU. But give them the chance to get to know your real YOU, don't repell them with your slouchy looks and poor first impression wich makes them think (even subconsciously, we can't control it!) that you don't have enough respect neither for you nor for the rest of the people around you. I believe we don't have to be the style icons (we can though! :D ) but "put togetherness" can make wonders. Thank you, Lauren.
Pooja Gurudatt (1 year ago)
How do you dress if you're short and have an hourGlass figure?! We're curvy as well as short. So clueless! Help!
ili nel - DTHeart gave some really great tips! For an office-appropriate look in petite sizes, try J Crew, Ann Taylor, and Banana Republic. Also, tuck in your tops (tops should be either shorter/tucked-in, or mid-thigh or longer - nothing that cuts you in half!); try monochrome outfits; dresses and skirts at the knee, or above; high waist slim cut trousers; sleeves 3/4 length, or rolled up; add at least a little heel if you can, but avoid excessively chunky platforms; tailor anything that doesn’t fit perfectly. (I’m 5”0’, pear-shaped)
ili nel (6 months ago)
Duct_Tape Heart can you tell me more about this? I am trying to dress the same way as you and you seem to be really ahead in styling hehe, some tipps would be really appreciated, also, can you make it look not so feminine or sexy (i,g, for work)
Duct_Tape Heart (7 months ago)
Ann Taylor also has FANTASTIC petite style range.
Duct_Tape Heart (7 months ago)
Pooja Gurudatt ASOS "petite curve". GAP and Old Navy also carry extended sizes in short length online. Personally, I'm 5'4 and curvy. A-line shapes and high waistlines are my friend, as are cropped tops/jackets because they actually hit me at the proper length. Basically, I've learned to emphasize my waist in EVERYTHING!!! I don't buy bulky or loose silhouettes no matter how trendy they are. Once you know what shapes look good on you, why vere from the path? Even my gym clothes have a recipe lol.
Melissa MW19 (10 months ago)
Like Lucy Hale in PLL—dresses that hit at the knee and cinch in at the waist!
"Sensitive Sallies!" I LOVE IT! "Like me for me... that's bullshit" GOLD! You had me crackin' up this morning! I need you to come and slap some style sense into me! (going to check out your style university series!) Keep droppin' those Truth Bombs, Girl!
Mary Nyhof (1 year ago)
I love your sense of humor. Everything you said was true,in my opinion.
Anony Mouse (1 year ago)
Thank you. A video just for me! ;)
jijahzah (1 year ago)
Yes this is exactly what I always said. Agreed 💯 percent.
Lorelei (1 year ago)
Loved the video , all of them. I think all of us have at least one outburst of Mary, Debbie, Ashley Amy, Leslie etc. Important is how we navigate through. This is how we take it with a grain of salt and move on with a smile :-)
Ebony Alfred (1 year ago)
Yes Lauren you tell Mary!!! Lol... People are always judging and they don’t get to see the inside first. First impressions mean a lot. Love your vids
Mary Hildreth (1 year ago)
I like how you come across. People are too scared to say what they think nowdays. I'm glad you're not. Would you do an overly comfortable grandma anti-style video? That's the trap I've fallen into. On top of just wanting comfort and not really going places much anymore, I have developed plantar fasciitis from using the leg machine and I can only wear ugly flat shoes, because literally every cute pair I have or have tried on will cause pain, even with my inserts. (That isn't just an old lady problem - I got this at the gym).
I have a similar issue and even cute ballet flats, loafers, and oxfords hurt! My solution is to wear trendy retro trainers (my favorites are vintage-looking New Balance) with my skinny jeans. I elevate that outfit by adding a chic blazer and a good handbag, and maybe a statement necklace or cuff bracelet. Sure, I’d rather wear heels, or cute flats, but it’s not worth having foot surgery! Still looking for something appropriate for dressier occasions that won’t cause pain for days... 😒
ramblerjam (4 months ago)
+Rara Avis ooh! I am definitely gonna try and recall my high school German and pull up that website, thank you for the tip! Comfort is so important with shoes, and at least basic black boots go with a lot of outfits. Sometimes you can accessorize and diy plain shoes successfully too. Dye them or attach buckles or even spats if you can work them into the outfit. I tend to bohemian so those things appeal to me anyway 😂
Rara Avis (4 months ago)
ramblerjam I actually found a brand that fits me perfectly in the meantime! They are called LaShoe, but unfortunately t’s a German shop and they don’t have an English website - or sell anywhere else, it seems. The shoes are actually meant for people with a Hallux Vagus...but they don’t look like orthopedic shoes or anything, they’re just cut a little wider in front and the leather is more soft and giving than regular shoe leather. It’s heaven. I already bought 3 pairs and a pair of boots should arrive today! I also already sold most of my other shoes and boots...it’s heartbreaking, to have to sell 3 or 4 beautiful pieces just to pay for one pair of kindasorta boring looking black boots, but there you go. I wasn’t really wearing any of them anyway, so what’s the point. I can walk without any discomfort in my new shoes! Yay!
ramblerjam (4 months ago)
+Rara Avis i know this is 7 months after your comment but i had to reply because I've never met anyone else with the same foot situation as me! I feel your pain! I wind up buying shoes that are too long and still not wide enough. I have had a pair made to fit but omg they look so weird because of the shape they wind up being. I can live with it, it's just a bit of a bummer :(
Yobo Lion (5 months ago)
Yes you’d never see someone voices things in this way on the tell-lie-vision.
Cora Smith (1 year ago)
Those sensitive sallys
SimplyKatexo (11 months ago)
fuck you
Kary (1 year ago)
Cora Smith 😂😂😂😂
Canadian97467 (1 year ago)
Deeply Intuit (1 year ago)
Mary Mary, why ya buggin? 😂Funny but true! Love your style Lauren!
salau adeola (1 year ago)
First to comment. Love your vids lauren💜 you look beautiful

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